How I Find Clients As An Introvert

Who is the world’s biggest introvert? Quite possibly, me.

I treasure spending time alone. My idea of a perfect evening is puttering around my house, listening to a podcast, or reading a great book under a cozy blanket.

You know you’re an introvert when your most prized possession is your soft weighted eye pillow (shout-out to NodPod!) and when someone cancels an event and you don’t have to show up, you’re thrilled!

I have a very active imagination and interior world. I can mosey about, thinking my various thoughts, and amuse myself endlessly without having people around!

I love my friends, but for me, a little social interaction goes a long way. If I spend an hour walking and talking with a good friend, or sharing a meal together, this can fill up my “social tank” (as I call it) for the next week.

In my pre-marriage, pre-child life, back when I was a single woman, I would regularly spend days upon days in blissful solitude. Quietly working on my laptop. Taking long walks by myself. Hitting the gym with my headphones on. Aside from a quick “hello, how are you?” to my barista, I would sometimes go DAYS and literally not speak to a living soul. While some might find this incredibly lonely, for me, in that particular season of my life, it was delightful.

Nowadays, things are different. I’m blessed with a wonderful husband, a rambunctious two-year-old, and work that is exciting and demanding. My family has evolved and my career has, too.

On weekdays, I head to my office in the mornings and when I get home from work, it’s a whirlwind of snacks, face paint, glitter, potty training, tantrums, bubble baths, and story-time. Weekends are filled with playdates, kids’ birthday parties, and gallivanting about. It’s a beautiful season in my life–and it has been a big adjustment! My world has expanded and now, there’s more of everything. More noise. More mess. More people. More activities. More demands on my time and energy. More uncertainty. More joy. More love.

These days, alone-time is a precious commodity! I rarely get it. When I do, I savor it like a thirsty traveler who has spent a year traversing the hot desert sands.

Now that I’m a parent, I’ve had to become more assertive in asking for what I need: “Hi babe! Can you please take Nora outside and play on the swings for 20 minutes? I need a moment to lie down and be horizontal in a silent room. Thank you!”

It’s not always easy to be an introvert “in a world that can’t stop talking,” as author Susan Cain eloquently puts it. But I love the fact that I am one. I believe introversion is one of my strengths, not a disadvantage.

As a self-employed professional (I write and edit books for a living, lead writing retreats, co-founded a bookstore, and occasionally take on copywriting projects for certain brands) I’ve had to figure out creative ways to find clients as an introvert … without going to a zillion events, being online 24/7, or running myself ragged from too much socializing.

I’ve been self-employed for 15 years, and after much trial and error, I’ve found strategies that energize me rather than draining me.

Here are a few approaches that work well for me…

Public Newsletter

I started a newsletter about 10 years ago and have gradually grown my readership to around 10,000 people. It has spread primarily through word-of-mouth. People enjoy reading it, then tell a friend about it, and it has grown slowly and organically that way.

In my newsletter, I share writing tips, inspirational true stories, plus occasional announcements about my new books, writing retreats, or whatever else I am offering at the moment.

I love this newsletter! I view it as an art project that happens to be a marketing channel. For me, it’s a creative project that’s fun to do, not a chore.

I send it once or twice a month, only when I have something remarkable to share.

Secret Newsletter

In addition to my public newsletter, I recently started a private newsletter that is only for my clients and a few close friends and colleagues, such as literary agents, acquisitions editors, and other colleagues in the publishing world. I call it The Inner Circle.

In this private newsletter, I share special offers and exciting news that I’m not necessarily ready to announce to the whole wide world yet.

The Inner Circle has just 100 subscribers. I kept it small, on purpose. Each subscriber is someone I know fairly well (we’ve met in-person, we’ve collaborated in the past, etc.) and that I personally invited to be there.

This private newsletter has become a powerful way to nurture relationships with the VIPs in my life.

I send this about once a month, too.

Podcasts

I don’t host my own podcast at the moment (maybe in the future I will!) but I’ve been a frequent guest on other people’s shows.

I estimate I’ve done around 100 podcast appearances over the last 15 years. Shows with big audiences, like Entrepreneur On Fire. Shows for writers, like The Secret Library. Shows hosted by fellow authors, like Free Time. Shows about leading an intentional life, like On Purpose. Shows hosted by friends, like Chart Your Career.

Numerous clients have told me, “I first heard about you on a podcast…” and that’s how they found their way to my work.

I enjoy being a podcast guest because I don’t have to leave my office! All I need to do is show up, share a few helpful insights, an entertaining story or two, and be a gracious guest!

Since my daughter was born, I’ve taken a step back from doing podcast appearances. I do very few these days–almost none–because I don’t have as much bandwidth as I once did. But I suspect at some point in the future, I will ramp this up again.

What’s neat is that people still find me via podcast episodes that got released years and years ago! They’re still floating out there on the Internet, and people find them, listen, and get acquainted with me and my work–even though I’m not actively recording new episodes right now.

Personal Invitations

When I have an offer to sell–like my Hawaii Writing Retreat, which happens annually in January–I make a list of dream attendees. Typically this list includes current clients, past clients, colleagues, and sometimes, people I don’t know very well (yet) but would like to know better.

I email each person individually and invite them to come.

I keep my invitation brief and polite, with zero pressure, and no attachment to whether they say “Yes!” or “Not this time.”

Rather than thinking, “I need to sell spots for my retreat!” (stressful!) I think, “I’m inviting one of my favorite people to join me at a beautiful event. I hope they can come, but if not, that’s okay. Somebody else will!” (relaxed, peaceful, exciting). This changes the energy of the invitation and leads to much better results.

For me, personal invitations work really well. Usually, I fill up 50% (or more) of my spots by doing these invites. By the time I am ready to announce the retreat to the public, it’s getting full with just a few spots left.

As entrepreneurs, we often get overly fixated on things like website traffic or social media followers, thinking THIS is the path to success.

We stay frantically busy obsessing over these metrics, rather than doing the simple steps that really move the needle, like emailing a dream client to make an offer and inviting them to say, “Yes.”

Gifts

I love sending gifts to my clients to celebrate milestones, like a birthday, book launch, or 10th business-anniversary.

I make sure the gift is something they will love, like a gift certificate to their favorite restaurant, or a bouquet of their favorite flowers. (If I’m not sure what to send, I secretly ask their assistant for tips!)

Sending a gift or snail mail “thank you” note is a good way to remain top of mind. When my client walks into their office and sees a stunning bouquet, they’re more likely to (a) remember me (b) hire me again in the future or (c) recommend me to others.

Sometimes, I send services as a gift. When a colleague’s book came out, I gifted her 5 hours with my incredible virtual assistant to assist in her book marketing efforts. My assistant compiled a list of book awards that she’d be eligible to win, creating a spreadsheet with the nomination deadlines, instructions, important links, and so on. This saved my colleague tons of time. She was delighted!

Before gifting services, I generally pause to ask, “I know that _____ is one of your top goals right now. To help you get there, I’d love to give you _____. My treat. Is that something you would like?” I check to make sure it’s something they truly want before arranging the gift.

What I DON’T do:

Social Media

I deleted all of my social media accounts 10 years ago to reclaim my time and declutter my brain. I have written about this decision here and here.

For some, social media is a great way to find clients and customers. For me, it wasn’t. It ate up a lot of my time, but didn’t provide much of an ROI.

Quitting was one of the best business decisions I ever made. It freed up an enormous amount of mental energy and creativity, and my income has grown explosively since then.

Sidebar: if it interests you, a while ago, I wrote an article called “20 Ways To Find Clients And Customers Without Using Social Media.”

What’s most important of all:

Referrals

The majority of my new clients come to me via referral from a past client. This was true 15 years ago. It remains true today.

And so, my #1 tip on how to find clients is this: be excellent at whatever you do.

Deliver exactly what you promised. Do what you said you would do. Leave your client thrilled, and most likely, they will recommend you to others.

A strong recommendation from a happy client is worth more than all the marketing or advertising efforts in the world.

Gifts, newsletters, podcast appearances, ads, webinars, email funnels–all of this is great. But ultimately, what really matters is doing a terrific job for the people who have entrusted you with their dreams.

And THAT is something every entrepreneur can do, whether they’re an extrovert, introvert, or anywhere in between.

-Alex

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I wrote this piece to celebrate the release of Rich Relationships by Selena Soo. Available now!

Selena is a client, friend, and fellow introvert like me. I was honored to be her writing partner for this book.

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