The Letter: A True Story

I was laying on the floor of my office. Head on the rug. Legs up the wall.

I poised my phone awkwardly above my face, giving Robert a not-especially-flattering view of my chin on our video call.

“I’m not doing so great,” I told him, a tight and creaky feeling in my chest.

“What’s going on, friend?” he asked.

This was August 2024. I explained that 2024 had been one of the most demanding years of my life and my tank was running extremely low. I felt exhausted and mentally foggy. Things that normally excited me felt dull and uninspiring.

It wasn’t due to one thing. It was all the things, piled up on top of each other.

Working full-time while caring for an infant. Sleep deprivation. Postpartum mental health challenges. The pressure of being the sole financial breadwinner for my household. The added challenge of caregiving for a loved one who was battling cancer.

Although I felt proud to be a business owner, wife, mom, and care provider, the combined weight was a lot to carry.

On especially bad days, I felt the pressure physically. Ropey cords in my neck and shoulders, hard like metal. Gnarled lumps in my stomach. Invisible hands tightening around my throat.

“Okay my love,” Robert said, after listening to my sniffly recap. “Here’s what we’re going to do…”

I listened, nose snuffly, eyes stinging with tears.

“First,” said Robert, “What is your final workday of the year going to be? The last day before you start your winter holiday?”

“Probably December 20th,” I said weakly, making a mental checklist of the millions of things I needed to accomplish before the end of the year.

“No,” he responded sternly, “December 1st.”

December 1st? I perked up, imagining the possibility of taking a month-long holiday break at the end of the year. Could I find a way to pull that off?

“Here’s your assignment…” he continued. “You’re going to write a letter as if it’s December 1st. In your letter, describe all the beautiful things that happened over the last 100 days. The goals you hit. The clients you served. The impact you made. The way you showed up with grace and love for your family. The therapist you hired. How proud you feel. Write it down like you’re giving a recap of what happened.”

“Then,” he added, “Read this letter to yourself out loud, every morning, for the next 100 days. Speak it into existence.”

I told him I would do exactly that.

I wrote my letter that same day and read it to myself the next morning. And the next. And the next.

Reading the letter became my new daily ritual. It quieted the noise in my head and sharpened my concentration.

Each time I read it, I felt a powerful sensation—a honing, a taut feeling, like an archer pulling back her bow and taking aim, right at the bullseye. This is who I am. These are my priorities. This is what I am celebrating on December 1st.

Every day, the letter reminded me where to focus my attention and which actions to take.

My final official workday of the year ended up being December 7th, not 1st. There were a few mornings that I forgot to read the letter and ended up skipping that day. A few projects never got finished. Even though I didn’t do things “perfectly,” the magic of the 100 Day Letter still worked.

Almost every single item in my letter came true. Plus a few miracles I never could have predicted.

Pick a date in the future. Maybe 1 year from now. Or 100 days from now. 30 days. Or 10.

What do you want to be celebrating on that day?

Write a letter as if it has already happened.

Read your letter every single day.

Take action to bring your words to life.

So much can change in 100 days, or for that matter, 10 days or 10 hours. You can create a dramatic turnaround in your life in August or October or December, any time of year, any time of day.

Today is not over yet. There is still time to create whatever shift you’re hoping to make. You already know this. But sometimes, you just need a friend to remind you.

Robert was that friend for me. Perhaps today, I can be that friend for you.

100 Day Letter Instructions

Write a letter as if it’s 100 days from now.

This can be a letter to a friend, family member, mentor, coach, or a letterto yourself.

Describe all the wonderful things that unfolded (personally, professionally, or both) during the last 100 days.

Write as if everything already happened and you’re giving a recap.

Template

Dear [Name],

I can’t wait to see what unfolds in the days ahead! This moment is sweet and victorious. And, the best is yet to come.

After Writing Your Letter…

Share your letter with (at least) one person that you trust. Tell them, “This is my vision for the next 100 days. Thank you for supporting me as I work to make this a reality.”

Read your letter to yourself, out loud, every morning, for the next 100 days in a row. Speak it into existence.

Let this letter be a daily reminder of your priorities and the actions you need to take.

If you forget to read your letter 100 days in a row and skip some days, no problem. Reading 20 times is better than 10. Reading 10 times is better than 0. It all helps. Perfection is not required for success.

Words are powerful.

And, words combined with action make us unstoppable.

22 Writing Residencies, Grants, and Other Opportunities That Might Change Your Life

There’s a writing project that’s really important to you.

You need quiet, focused, uninterrupted time to work on it.

You’re craving wide open space on your calendar. No meetings. No notifications. No laundry. No dishes. No adorable-yet-demanding kids. Distraction-free time to think deeply and do your best work.

A private chef, housekeeper, massage therapist, pool, jacuzzi, and breathtaking villa with an ocean view wouldn’t hurt, either.

You’ve been dreaming about going on a luxurious writing retreat, like the one I host in Hawaii every January.

But maybe coming to the Hawaii Writing Retreat is not financially or logistically doable. (At least, not at this exact moment. One day!)

In the meantime, I come bearing good news:

If you love writing … you’re longing for a retreat … and you’re looking for something that costs zero dollars …

There are abundant options for you.

Below, you’ll find 22 residencies, grants, scholarships, fellowships, and other opportunities for writers of all levels.

Plus, a couple of writer-themed hotels at various price points, in case you want to book a solo writing retreat-for-one.

Whether you write fiction, poetry, or nonfiction … and whether you are an emerging voice (“I’ve never been published…”), seasoned pro (“All three of my books are New York Times bestsellers…”), or somewhere in between, you’ll find something for you on this list.

What Is a Writing Residency?

A writing residency is a program where you apply and share info about yourself, your career and achievements, and the project you want to focus on — your book, essay collection, multi-media project, or whatever you intend to create.

Your application gets reviewed by the residency program.

If you are selected, you get housing, meals, and other perks — free!

It’s essentially a writing retreat except you pay nothing. Sometimes, they even pay you.

Some residencies are quite luxurious. Others are more basic and humble.

Below, you’ll find several programs to consider.

While reading this list, if your heart starts beating a little faster (“Oh my gosh, this sounds incredible, I want to go!”) then I strongly encourage you to apply.

Someone is going to be selected. Why couldn’t it be you?

Writing Residencies

• The Kimmel Harding Nelson Center for the Arts Residency in Nebraska City, Nebraska

Who it’s for: Writers, composers, visual artists, and other creatives.

From the website: “The program is open to both emerging and established artists from around the world who can demonstrate a serious commitment to their work through prior exhibitions, performances, or publications.”

What’s included: Residencies are 2 to 8 weeks in length. Includes a $175 stipend per week, housing, and a private studio. Up to 78 people are selected each year.

From the website: “The historic town is beautiful and fascinating, with tree-lined brick streets, architecturally-interesting homes and buildings and the most museums per capita of any city in the Midwest.”

Details and how to apply: Visit the KHN Residency website.

• Fine Arts Work Center in Provincetown, Massachusetts

Who it’s for: Fiction writers, poets, and visual artists.

What’s included: 7-month residencies. Recipients receive housing, a monthly stipend, and studio or writing space. Around 20 people are selected each year.

Some recipients have gone on to win the Guggenheim Fellowship, MacArthur Fellowship, Prix de Rome, Pulitzer Prize, and the Nobel Prize in Literature.

Details and how to apply: Visit the Fine Arts Work Center website.

• Hedgebrook Writer-in-Residence in Freeland, Washington

Who it’s for: Women-identified writers of all genres. From the website: “fiction, nonfiction, poetry, TV screenwriters, playwrights, and songwriters are all encouraged to apply.”

What’s included: 2 to 3-week residencies including housing in a private cottage and meals prepared by an on-site chef.

From the website: “Each cottage has an upstairs sleeping loft with a hand-built double bed, lamps, rocking chair, chest of drawers, and a small closet.” “Stained glass windows, pottery sinks, and other features were designed and crafted by local artisans.”

Details and how to apply: Visit the Hedgebrook website.

• MacDowell Fellowship in Peterborough, New Hampshire

Who it’s for: Artists in various disciplines, including writers, visual artists, composers, filmmakers, architects, and interdisciplinary artists.

What’s included: Residencies range from 2 weeks to 2 months. Recipients receive a private studio, meals, and accommodations. MacDowell awards need-based travel grants and stipends.

From the website: “Peterborough is a small town in a rural corner of New Hampshire.” “MacDowell studios are scattered across a 450-acre property.”

Details and how to apply: Visit the MacDowell website.

• Yaddo in Saratoga Springs, New York

Who it’s for: Professional writers and artists.

From the website: Writers as well as artists who focus on “choreography, film, musical composition, painting, performance, photography, printmaking, sculpture, and video” are welcome to apply.

What’s included: Residencies of 2 weeks to 2 months. Private bedroom and workspace. Financial aid and travel funds are available.

From the website: “Weekly room cleanings, plus linens and fresh towels are provided, and laundry facilities are available. Dinners are served communally in our dining room, while breakfast offerings and lunch are packed up for each artist to carry away.”

“Yaddo has common areas available for guests, several paths through the woods, a swimming pool, a pool table, a ping-pong table, and bicycles in addition to small libraries.”

Details and how to apply: Visit the Yaddo website.

• Art Omi Writers Residency in Ghent, New York

Who it’s for: Writers plus artists, translators, dancers, musicians, and architects.

What’s included: 1-week to 2-month residency. Accommodation, food, local transport, and public programming.

From the website: “Abundant, catered meals and comfortable, beautiful lodgings are provided in a scenic location.”

Details and how to apply: Visit the Art Omi Writers website.

• Hawthornden Castle Residency in Lasswade, Scotland

Who it’s for: Writers from all genres.

From the website: “The residency is international in character and welcomes applications from writers from all over the world. Creative writers of many kinds – poets, novelists, short-story writers, playwrights, scriptwriters, essayists, creative nonfiction writers, translators – are welcome to apply.”

What’s included: 4-week residency. A stipend of $1,000 is provided for writers traveling from Europe and $2,500 for those traveling from elsewhere.

From the website: “A peaceful setting for creative writers to work without disturbance.” “Writers have the use of a private study bedroom and other communal facilities including an extensive library, studio, drawing room, garden room, as well as the castle garden, walks, woods and grounds.”

Details and how to apply: Visit the Hawthornden Foundation website.

• Akademie Schloss Solitude Fellowship in Stuttgart, Germany

Who it’s for: Writers, artists, and scientists.

From the website: “German-language and international literature in all written forms (dramatic texts, lyric poetry, prose, essay, and translation).”

What’s included: Furnished live/work studio in Stuttgart, a monthly grant of €1,300, and travel expenses for arrival and departure.

From the website: “The Akademie maintains 42 living and working studios” including “two pet-friendly studio apartments.”

Details and how to apply: Visit the Akademie Schloss Solitude website.

• Randell Cottage Residency in Wellington, New Zealand

Who it’s for: New Zealand and French writers working on a full-length literary work.

What’s included: 6-month residency including accommodation in a heritage cottage, a stipend, and travel support.

Note: to be eligible for this residency, you must be a citizen or resident of either New Zealand or France. Check the site for additional requirements.

Details and how to apply: Visit the Randell Cottage Writers Trust website.

• Bogliasco Foundation Residency at the Liguria Study Center on the Italian Riviera

Who it’s for: Writers, artists, and scholars from around the world.

Open to “individuals of all ages and nationalities who are developing significant new work in the arts and humanities.”

What’s included: Residencies last for 1 month. Includes housing, meals, and a studio space. Recipients must cover their own travel costs.

From the website: “Live and work in bucolic surroundings on the coast near Genoa.”

Details and how to apply: Visit the Bogliasco Foundation website.

• NEA/U.S.-Japan Creative Artists Program

Who it’s for: U.S.-based writers, poets, and other creative artists interested in a cultural exchange with Japan.

What’s included: $20,000 for a 3-month residency in Japan, with an additional $4,000 per month for up to 2 more months, plus up to $2,500 for round-trip travel reimbursement. Covers housing, living, and professional expenses.

From the website: “Extremely competitive. Only five artists are selected. Applicants should anticipate a highly rigorous review of their artistry and should have compelling reasons for wanting to work in Japan.”

Details and how to apply: Visit the Japan-U.S. Friendship Commission website.

Writing Grants and Scholarships

In addition to applying for a residency, consider applying for a writing grant or scholarship.

A grant or scholarship gives you funding to get your project done.

Some include mentorship, publication or visibility opportunities to share your work, collaboration with peers, and other valuable experiences in addition to funding.

Housing is usually not included. Some grants are referred to as “fellowships.”

A few options…

• NEA Creative Writing Fellowships

Who it’s for: Published creative writers of poetry and prose who are U.S. citizens or permanent residents.

What’s included: Fellowships of up to $50,000 are awarded annually to support writing time, research, travel, and general career advancement.

Details and how to apply: Visit the NEA Creative Writing Fellowships website.

• James Jones First Novel Fellowship

Who it’s for: U.S. authors who have not yet published a novel. Applicants should be working on a first novel-in-progress.

What’s included: A 1st-place prize of $10,000 is awarded annually, with two additional $1,000 awards for runners-up.

Details and how to apply: Visit the James Jones Fellowship website.

• CINTAS Foundation Fellowship

Who it’s for: Cuban writers and other creative professionals of Cuban lineage living outside of Cuba.

From their website: “CINTAS Fellowships acknowledge creative accomplishments and encourage excellence in architecture & design, creative writing, music composition, photography, and the visual arts.”

What’s included: This fellowship is $25,000.

Details and how to apply: Visit the CINTAS Foundation website.

• Speculative Literature Foundation Grants

Who it’s for: Writers of speculative fiction, including science fiction, fantasy, and horror.

Multiple grants are available for writers at various stages and backgrounds, including emerging writers, established writers, and those from historically marginalized communities.

What’s included: Grants range from $500 to $1,000. Some include mentorship or editorial feedback in addition to funding.

Details and how to apply: Visit the Speculative Literature Foundation website.

• Miles Morland Writing Scholarship

Who it’s for: Writers who wish to write a full-length book of fiction or nonfiction.

From the website: “Open to anyone writing in the English language who was born in Africa, or both of whose parents were born in Africa.”

What’s included: Scholars will receive a grant of £18,000, paid monthly over the course of twelve months.

Details and how to apply: Visit the Miles Morland Foundation website.

• Sprinng Writing Fellowship

Who it’s for: Young writers between the ages of 18–25.

From the website: “For developing Nigerian, Ghanaian, Liberian, and South African writers with great potential and willingness to learn” and “who are passionate about developing their craft in poetry, fiction, or essays.”

What’s included: A 6-week virtual fellowship featuring weekly mentorship, writing assignments, and feedback.

Note: this opportunity does not include funding. Recipients receive education, encouragement, and support with their writing goals, and are paired with a mentor who reviews their work and gives feedback. Many fellows go on to become published authors.

Details and how to apply: Visit the Sprinng website.

Hotels for Writers

Maybe you applied for a residency, grant, or scholarship, but didn’t get selected this time around.

Or, perhaps you’re looking for a different kind of experience.

Why not book a room at a hotel with a literary theme? The perfect place to be inspired and get the words flowing!

Create your own dream writing retreat at one of these hotels…

• The Library Hotel in New York City, New York

Overview: Each floor is themed by Dewey Decimal categories. Rooftop Writer’s Den & Poetry Garden, plus 6,000‑book Reading Room.

Beds featured velvet throw pillows that say: “Book lovers never go to bed alone.”

Check out the Reading & Rosé package, which includes accommodation plus a classic novel, signature tote bag, and bottle of Proverb Rosé.

More details: Visit the Library Hotel website.

• The Writer Studio at Maker Hotel in Hudson, New York

Overview: A luxurious, book-lined 450-square-foot suite designed for solitude and creativity. Vintage typewriters. A writing desk overlooking Hudson’s historic district.

From the website: “Original oak fireplace and built-in bookcases from the 1800’s.” “Curated books selected in partnership with Strand Book Store in NYC.”

In addition to this literary suite, the Maker Hotel has 10 additional rooms.

More details: Visit the Maker Hotel website.

• Hotel 1928 in Waco, Texas

Overview: From the website: “An intimate 33-room hotel including four indulgent suites.”

Co-owned by Chip and Joanna Gaines (co-hosts of Fixer Upper on HGTV and founders of the lifestyle brand Magnolia), this hotel features elegant reading nooks, vintage design, and quiet communal spaces perfect for reflection and writing.

Curl up next to the roaring fireplace in a room filled with books. Heaven for writers and bibliophiles!

More details: Visit the Hotel 1928 website.

• Eaton DC in Washington, D.C.

Overview: This hotel includes a library lounge and co-working spaces.

From the website: “Within walking distance of the Smithsonian museums, Black Lives Matter Plaza, Capitol Hill, and the Convention Center.” “More than a hotel. Here, hospitality is a means for community, creativity, and culture.”

More details: Visit the Eaton DC website.

• The Kennedy School in Portland, Oregon

Overview: A former elementary school turned hotel, with classrooms transformed into cozy rooms, many with chalkboards and original details, plus a library-themed bar and quiet corners for writing.

Personal note: I have hosted writing retreats here in the past for my clients. It is delightful!

More details: Visit the Kennedy School website.

Closing Thoughts

Every writer needs a place where they can work without any intrusions. And yes, this includes people who write blog posts, podcast scripts, marketing materials, pitch decks for clients, self-published books, or anything else. It all counts as “writing.”

No matter what kind of creative work you’re doing, you’ll come up with your best ideas — and complete your project faster — when you’re in a beautiful, distraction-free environment.

If you are considering applying for a writing residency, grant, or another opportunity, and thinking, “Oh, they would never pick me…” I encourage you to apply anyway.

I’ve had many colleagues and clients who had this EXACT thought, applied anyway, and got picked.

You never know. It could be you.

As the famous sports quote goes, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”

Shoot your shot! It might change your life.

-Alex

PS. One more option to consider…

The Hawaii Writing Retreat

I host a writing retreat in Hawaii once a year. The next one is January 8-14, 2026.

Pick a writing project that’s important to you — your book, essay collection, newsletter, materials for your clients, or anything you want to focus on.

• Come spend a week in paradise.
• No kids, pets, laundry, meetings, or anything else tugging at your attention.
• Quiet, distraction-free time to get important work done.

Retreat Includes

• Five-star accommodation (6 nights, 7 days)
• Your own private bedroom and private bathroom at the villa (no sharing)
• Luxe amenities including a pool, jacuzzi, and fitness center
• Airport pick-up and drop-off
• Chef-prepared meals (breakfast, lunch, and dinner, every day)
• Yoga and meditation classes
• Sound bath experience
• Full-body massage
• Whale watching adventure
• Guided nature walk through the Kona Cloud Forest
• An evening of live music with cocktails and mocktails
• Small, introvert-friendly atmosphere (eight retreat guests, max)
• One-on-one time to discuss your project, ask questions, and get input
• Coworking (online) after the retreat to keep the momentum going
• And other experiences to inspire you and get your creativity flowing

Most importantly, you’ll have lots of quiet time to work on your project. Leave the retreat feeling proud and accomplished (“I got so much done!”), refreshed, and energized, with your batteries fully charged for the year ahead.

Details and How to Book Your Spot

• Check out the brochure for details and pricing.
• Here’s where to reserve your room.

About the Author

Alexandra Franzen is a writer, award-winning editor, co-founder of a bookstore, and creator of 10 books and card decks.

Recent projects include Awestruck: 52 Experiments to Find Wonder, Joy, and Meaning in Everyday Life (Chronicle), Love Is Blind: the Date Night Deck (a collaboration with Union Square and Netflix), and an oracle deck for book lovers called The Bibliophile Deck (Clarkson Potter / Penguin Random House).

Her work has been mentioned in The New York Times Small Business Blog, The Atlantic, The Los Angeles Times, Fast Company, Inc., in Tim Ferriss’ newsletter, and she has appeared on the Peabody Award-winning radio show, Marketplace.

As a writing partner and editor, Alex works with a small number of clients each year — helping her clients write powerful books that touch readers deeply. Projects include Your Next Level Life by Karen Arrington (NAACP Image Award, Outstanding Instructional Literary Work), We Should All Be Millionaires by Rachel Rodgers (Wall Street Journal Bestseller), Unicorn Team by Jen Kem (USA Today National Bestseller), Rich Relationships by Selena Soo (USA Today and Los Angeles Times Bestseller), among many others.

Alexandra deleted all of her social media accounts 10 years ago. Instead of being active on social media, she writes a newsletter, called one of the “14 newsletters you need in your inbox” by Brit+Co.

How I Find Clients As An Introvert

Who is the world’s biggest introvert? Quite possibly, me.

I treasure spending time alone. My idea of a perfect evening is puttering around my house, listening to a podcast, or reading a great book under a cozy blanket.

You know you’re an introvert when your most prized possession is your soft weighted eye pillow (shout-out to NodPod!) and when someone cancels an event and you don’t have to show up, you’re thrilled!

I have a very active imagination and interior world. I can mosey about, thinking my various thoughts, and amuse myself endlessly without having people around!

I love my friends, but for me, a little social interaction goes a long way. If I spend an hour walking and talking with a good friend, or sharing a meal together, this can fill up my “social tank” (as I call it) for the next week.

In my pre-marriage, pre-child life, back when I was a single woman, I would regularly spend days upon days in blissful solitude. Quietly working on my laptop. Taking long walks by myself. Hitting the gym with my headphones on. Aside from a quick “hello, how are you?” to my barista, I would sometimes go DAYS and literally not speak to a living soul. While some might find this incredibly lonely, for me, in that particular season of my life, it was delightful.

Nowadays, things are different. I’m blessed with a wonderful husband, a rambunctious two-year-old, and work that is exciting and demanding. My family has evolved and my career has, too.

On weekdays, I head to my office in the mornings and when I get home from work, it’s a whirlwind of snacks, face paint, glitter, potty training, tantrums, bubble baths, and story-time. Weekends are filled with playdates, kids’ birthday parties, and gallivanting about. It’s a beautiful season in my life–and it has been a big adjustment! My world has expanded and now, there’s more of everything. More noise. More mess. More people. More activities. More demands on my time and energy. More uncertainty. More joy. More love.

These days, alone-time is a precious commodity! I rarely get it. When I do, I savor it like a thirsty traveler who has spent a year traversing the hot desert sands.

Now that I’m a parent, I’ve had to become more assertive in asking for what I need: “Hi babe! Can you please take Nora outside and play on the swings for 20 minutes? I need a moment to lie down and be horizontal in a silent room. Thank you!”

It’s not always easy to be an introvert “in a world that can’t stop talking,” as author Susan Cain eloquently puts it. But I love the fact that I am one. I believe introversion is one of my strengths, not a disadvantage.

As a self-employed professional (I write and edit books for a living, lead writing retreats, co-founded a bookstore, and occasionally take on copywriting projects for certain brands) I’ve had to figure out creative ways to find clients as an introvert … without going to a zillion events, being online 24/7, or running myself ragged from too much socializing.

I’ve been self-employed for 15 years, and after much trial and error, I’ve found strategies that energize me rather than draining me.

Here are a few approaches that work well for me…

Public Newsletter

I started a newsletter about 10 years ago and have gradually grown my readership to around 10,000 people. It has spread primarily through word-of-mouth. People enjoy reading it, then tell a friend about it, and it has grown slowly and organically that way.

In my newsletter, I share writing tips, inspirational true stories, plus occasional announcements about my new books, writing retreats, or whatever else I am offering at the moment.

I love this newsletter! I view it as an art project that happens to be a marketing channel. For me, it’s a creative project that’s fun to do, not a chore.

I send it once or twice a month, only when I have something remarkable to share.

Secret Newsletter

In addition to my public newsletter, I recently started a private newsletter that is only for my clients and a few close friends and colleagues, such as literary agents, acquisitions editors, and other colleagues in the publishing world. I call it The Inner Circle.

In this private newsletter, I share special offers and exciting news that I’m not necessarily ready to announce to the whole wide world yet.

The Inner Circle has just 100 subscribers. I kept it small, on purpose. Each subscriber is someone I know fairly well (we’ve met in-person, we’ve collaborated in the past, etc.) and that I personally invited to be there.

This private newsletter has become a powerful way to nurture relationships with the VIPs in my life.

I send this about once a month, too.

Podcasts

I don’t host my own podcast at the moment (maybe in the future I will!) but I’ve been a frequent guest on other people’s shows.

I estimate I’ve done around 100 podcast appearances over the last 15 years. Shows with big audiences, like Entrepreneur On Fire. Shows for writers, like The Secret Library. Shows hosted by fellow authors, like Free Time. Shows about leading an intentional life, like On Purpose. Shows hosted by friends, like Chart Your Career.

Numerous clients have told me, “I first heard about you on a podcast…” and that’s how they found their way to my work.

I enjoy being a podcast guest because I don’t have to leave my office! All I need to do is show up, share a few helpful insights, an entertaining story or two, and be a gracious guest!

Since my daughter was born, I’ve taken a step back from doing podcast appearances. I do very few these days–almost none–because I don’t have as much bandwidth as I once did. But I suspect at some point in the future, I will ramp this up again.

What’s neat is that people still find me via podcast episodes that got released years and years ago! They’re still floating out there on the Internet, and people find them, listen, and get acquainted with me and my work–even though I’m not actively recording new episodes right now.

Personal Invitations

When I have an offer to sell–like my Hawaii Writing Retreat, which happens annually in January–I make a list of dream attendees. Typically this list includes current clients, past clients, colleagues, and sometimes, people I don’t know very well (yet) but would like to know better.

I email each person individually and invite them to come.

I keep my invitation brief and polite, with zero pressure, and no attachment to whether they say “Yes!” or “Not this time.”

Rather than thinking, “I need to sell spots for my retreat!” (stressful!) I think, “I’m inviting one of my favorite people to join me at a beautiful event. I hope they can come, but if not, that’s okay. Somebody else will!” (relaxed, peaceful, exciting). This changes the energy of the invitation and leads to much better results.

For me, personal invitations work really well. Usually, I fill up 50% (or more) of my spots by doing these invites. By the time I am ready to announce the retreat to the public, it’s getting full with just a few spots left.

As entrepreneurs, we often get overly fixated on things like website traffic or social media followers, thinking THIS is the path to success.

We stay frantically busy obsessing over these metrics, rather than doing the simple steps that really move the needle, like emailing a dream client to make an offer and inviting them to say, “Yes.”

Gifts

I love sending gifts to my clients to celebrate milestones, like a birthday, book launch, or 10th business-anniversary.

I make sure the gift is something they will love, like a gift certificate to their favorite restaurant, or a bouquet of their favorite flowers. (If I’m not sure what to send, I secretly ask their assistant for tips!)

Sending a gift or snail mail “thank you” note is a good way to remain top of mind. When my client walks into their office and sees a stunning bouquet, they’re more likely to (a) remember me (b) hire me again in the future or (c) recommend me to others.

Sometimes, I send services as a gift. When a colleague’s book came out, I gifted her 5 hours with my incredible virtual assistant to assist in her book marketing efforts. My assistant compiled a list of book awards that she’d be eligible to win, creating a spreadsheet with the nomination deadlines, instructions, important links, and so on. This saved my colleague tons of time. She was delighted!

Before gifting services, I generally pause to ask, “I know that _____ is one of your top goals right now. To help you get there, I’d love to give you _____. My treat. Is that something you would like?” I check to make sure it’s something they truly want before arranging the gift.

What I DON’T do:

Social Media

I deleted all of my social media accounts 10 years ago to reclaim my time and declutter my brain. I have written about this decision here and here.

For some, social media is a great way to find clients and customers. For me, it wasn’t. It ate up a lot of my time, but didn’t provide much of an ROI.

Quitting was one of the best business decisions I ever made. It freed up an enormous amount of mental energy and creativity, and my income has grown explosively since then.

Sidebar: if it interests you, a while ago, I wrote an article called “20 Ways To Find Clients And Customers Without Using Social Media.”

What’s most important of all:

Referrals

The majority of my new clients come to me via referral from a past client. This was true 15 years ago. It remains true today.

And so, my #1 tip on how to find clients is this: be excellent at whatever you do.

Deliver exactly what you promised. Do what you said you would do. Leave your client thrilled, and most likely, they will recommend you to others.

A strong recommendation from a happy client is worth more than all the marketing or advertising efforts in the world.

Gifts, newsletters, podcast appearances, ads, webinars, email funnels–all of this is great. But ultimately, what really matters is doing a terrific job for the people who have entrusted you with their dreams.

And THAT is something every entrepreneur can do, whether they’re an extrovert, introvert, or anywhere in between.

-Alex

Get the Book: Rich Relationships: Create a Million-Dollar Network for Your Business

I wrote this piece to celebrate the release of Rich Relationships by Selena Soo. Available now!

Selena is a client, friend, and fellow introvert like me. I was honored to be her writing partner for this book.

Want more dream clients and referral partners? An incredible mentor? Colleagues who support your work and shout about it from the rooftops?

Rich Relationships teaches you how to build relationships with people who bring financial abundance into your life.

If you love books like Give and Take by Adam Grant, and classics like How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie and Dig Your Well Before You’re Thirsty by Harvey Mackay, you will love Rich Relationships.

Get it on Selena’s website, Amazon, Bookshop, or wherever you buy books.

Want a sample? Enter your email to get the first four chapters, free.

Over here, sign up to receive 20+ of Selena’s favorite scripts for emails and conversations to start building powerful relationships today. Another free taste of the book!

“One Rich Relationship is worth more than a hundred casual connections.”
–Selena Soo

You’ll love this refreshing take on how to win in business and life. Thank you for supporting this wonderful book!

Be the lighthouse.

When Maggie Reyes started her blog, she had exactly zero readers.

Well actually, she had one. Her devoted husband.

“You can do it, babe!” he said.

“I know I can!” she said.

Modern Married — Maggie’s blog about falling in love, staying in love, and creating a marriage that feels like a honeymoon — was born.

She started posting inspirational messages and relationship tips online. At first, she had absolutely no readers aside from her husband.

I asked Maggie:

“How did you find the motivation to keep writing even though nobody was paying attention?”

She said:

“I pretended that I was a lighthouse beaming light and love out into the world. I pretended that thousands of people were listening. I wrote as if thousands of people were listening. I never missed a single post because then I’d be letting thousands of people down! I imagined that I was changing thousands of people’s lives by sharing my ideas every day.”

“Finally,” she continued, “A few people started seeing what I was doing. They started sharing it with their friends. Then a few more. Now, a few years later, I am that lighthouse!”

And so it is.

Today:

Modern Married continues to grow. Maggie retired her blog in 2020 and launched The Marriage Life Coach Podcast, which is ranked among the top 2% of podcasts out of over 3 million podcasts tracked by ListenNotes.

She was named one of “the relationship experts to watch” by The Gottman Institute, an award-winning organization that collects scientific data about marriage and divorce.

She runs a thriving practice as a relationship coach and gets paid to help couples build stronger, happier marriages. She is officially living her dream.

Oh, and she’s the author of a mega-bestselling book for couples with more than 3,800 Amazon reviews. (The book was so successful, the publisher did a spin-off card deck too.)

It all happened because Maggie wrote as if the world was already listening.

If you want to be a writer, write. If you want to be a speaker, speak. Whatever you want to do, behave as if it is already your vocation.

Operate like the world is already listening.

Perform like a musician rocking out to a packed stadium, even if (in reality) you’re playing to an audience of one.

Don’t hold back. Don’t be stingy. Give it your all.

Be the lighthouse.

The people who need what you provide will arrive, gathering to bask in your light.

What’s Next?

When my mom turned 40, she had three children (including an infant) and a successful career in the performing arts.

Being a singer and dancer had always been her dream. She fought tooth and nail to make that dream a reality. She’d done it for 20 years.

But dreams can change.

At 40, she was tired of physically grueling auditions, rehearsals, and performances. Many nights, she’d get home long after my siblings and I went to bed. The hustle she once loved didn’t feel enlivening anymore.

She wanted a new season in her career. Something different.

“What’s next?” she wondered. She didn’t have a clear vision.

Over the next year, my mom took 50 people out for coffee. One per week.

Each time, she sat down with a friend, colleague, or mentor and asked, “What’s new?” “What are you working on lately?” “What’s lighting you up?” She also shared, “I’m ready for a career change and open to new ideas.”

She figured, “If I’m stuck in a rut and don’t know what’s next, the best thing to do is talk to people doing interesting work and expose myself to new possibilities.”

50 coffee dates later, mom applied for a teaching position at a community college in their vocal department … which led to meeting a songwriter named Anais Mitchell … which led to producing a Tony and Grammy Award-winning Broadway show, Hadestown.

Her career unfolded in surprising directions. It all started with a willingness to take one person out for a latte.

As I head towards my 40th birthday, I’m feeling eerily similar to my mom. Hungry for a new season in my career. But what? I’m not sure.

For now, I will follow in her footsteps and simply let people know, “I’m open to new possibilities.”

Who knows where one conversation may lead?

-Alex

PS. Reach out to someone you admire. Ask, “What’s lighting you up these days?” You may learn about a project, idea, or opportunity that pulls you in a direction you never expected.