Just Ask: A True Story About a Bold Request That Led to a Big Win

How Our Story Begins…

When Dr. Anne Welsh contacted me and described her book idea, I was immediately intrigued.

She hadn’t started writing it yet, but had a vision and was looking for a book coach and writing partner.

Anne, a therapist, executive coach, and mom of four, worked for Harvard Health Services before opening her own practice. She specializes in working with ambitious women.

“My typical client is a mom with a demanding career,” Anne told me during our first conversation. “Someone trying to achieve big professional goals and raise kids at the same time. She’s spinning so many plates in the air and feels stretched so thin.”

“I want to write a book for these women,” she explained.

The Mission Behind the Book

I asked Anne, “Imagine someone is holding your completed book in her hands. What’s the message you want this book to deliver to your reader? More than anything else, what do you want her to know?”

Anne paused to consider this question, then said:

“I want her to know that you can have children and ambition.”

She continued:

“Becoming a mother may change your ambition, but the change is not necessarily an atrophy. It can be an expansion. You may become more ambitious than ever, or ambitious in a different way, after having kids.”

“I want her to understand that ambition can mean many things—wanting more power, impact, money, time, space, or joy. It’s okay to want whatever you want. And your ambition can evolve through different seasons of motherhood.”

“I want her to know that all mothers are ‘working mothers’ whether they earn an income or not.”

Lastly, she added:

“I want her to define what being an ‘ambitious mother’ means to her. It could look like pursuing a promotion, starting a business, shifting to a part-time role, or taking a career pause to focus on the kids for a while. I want her to name what she truly wants—not what society says she should want—and take steps to create it.”

The Book I Personally Need…

I left our first conversation with tears in my eyes, because everything Anne shared spoke so directly to my heart.

At the time, my daughter Nora was still in diapers. I was nursing, pumping, doing the middle-of-the-night feedings, and working full-time at my office while my husband stayed home with our child. I had also stepped into a caregiver role while a family member underwent cancer treatment. It was a lot to carry.

When Anne said that many of her clients feel “stretched so thin,” I could deeply relate.

Trying to “do it all” felt exhausting and unsustainable. Yet, I didn’t necessarily want to stop working or shrink my career goals. I felt conflicted. Could there be a way to keep my drive and ambition—without burning myself out?

“This is the book I personally need to read,” I thought. “So many other moms do, too.”

Next Steps

Anne and I agreed to work together. 

Over the next few months, we fleshed out her book concept, created a chapter outline, wrote a proposal, and pitched literary agents.

Soon, Anne signed with an agent and received an offer from a reputable publisher. The next step was writing the manuscript.

During the writing process, I asked, “Have you considered inviting someone to contribute a foreword for the book?”

“In your dream scenario,” I continued, “who would it be?”

“It’s probably such a long shot,” Anne said. “But my dream person would be Robin Arzón.”

My whole body lit up. Robin Arzón—New York Times bestselling author, head instructor and VP of Fitness Programming at Peloton, athlete, global icon, and mom of two. She’d be the perfect person to write the foreword.

“Let’s ask her,” I said. “You never know.”

Write, Edit, Send

A quick Google search led me to Robin’s website, where I found contact information for her team.

Anne and I drafted an email highlighting her credentials and the mission behind the book. We emphasized that—should Robin be interested in contributing the foreword—we’d make the process as easy for her as possible. 

We gave the message a no-pressure tone.

Want to see the email that went to Robin’s team?

Then Anne hit “Send.”

Hopeful But Unattached

We had no expectations. But to our surprise, Robin’s team replied quickly—and she was interested!

After a few follow-up emails, the details were finalized. Anne and I shared a little squeal of delight (“Eeee!”) and felt proud of ourselves for making the ask.

The foreword came together beautifully. Robin’s perspective brought exactly the right energy to the opening of the book.

I came away from this experience with a powerful reminder: Just ask.

Make the Ask…

…even if it feels like a long shot. You never know. They might say yes.

Even if it’s a no, there’s still value in trying. By reaching out, you will expand your capacity to do brave things and sharpen your communication skills.

If you don’t get the response you hoped for, evaluate your approach and find ways to improve next time. Ask yourself: 

• Could my message have been shorter?
• Was my call to action clear?
• Was my timing right?
• Did my tone feel too demanding?
• Was this “too much, too soon”? Perhaps next time, I can focus on cultivating the relationship first rather than making a request too fast.
• How can I give generously to the people in my network, so that I’m known as someone who creates miracles for others?

These questions lead to greater success in the future.

Tips for a Successful Ask

• Instead of thinking, “I’m asking for a favor,” think: “I’m proposing a win-win collaboration that could be exciting for us both.” The former has a needy energy. The latter is empowering.
• Be intentional about what you say and how you say it. Keep your message as brief as possible. Brevity demonstrates respect for your time and theirs.
• Put yourself in their shoes. If you were them, what would inspire you to say yes?
• Bring a spirit of abundance. Trust that if this doesn’t work out, something equal or better is coming along.
• Invite a friend to ask with you, because it’s easier to be brave when you do it together. Maybe you want to reach out to a potential client, and they want to ask their boss for an opportunity. Do a countdown (“3…2…1…”) and hit “send” at the same moment. 
• Remember that asking doesn’t have to occur via email. Depending on the situation, a text, video, phone, or in-person conversation may be best.
• Stay open to surprises. It’s possible they may respond with a different idea (“What if we did this instead…?”) that’s even better than what you originally envisioned.

Baby Step: a Tiny Ask

Maybe there’s a collaboration you want to propose, but you keep putting it off because you feel nervous or haven’t figured out the right wording yet.

Here’s a baby step you can take—today. 

If you know this person fairly well, say:

• “I have an exciting idea I’d love to propose. Next week, could I send you a brief blurb to share what I’m thinking?”

Here, you’re making a tiny ask. You’re not asking them to commit to anything… yet. You’re simply asking if they’d be open to hearing your idea.

If they say “Sure,” now you have a deadline and healthy pressure to organize your thoughts and get moving. Game on!

Your Next Ask

Whoever is reading this, I know there’s some kind of ask you want—or need—to make.

Maybe it’s:

• Asking your employer for a different, more flexible schedule.
• Asking your spouse to handle dinner three nights a week so you can study, write, work out, or rest.
• Asking someone you admire to collaborate with you on a project, centered around a cause you both care about. 

What is something you want to call into your life, or a collaboration you’d love to do? 

Make the ask.

Additional Reading

Ambitious Mother by Dr. Anne Welsh

• If you’re juggling career and kids and constantly feel overwhelmed—or guilty for focusing on your professional ambitions—this book is for you. 
• Pre-order the book before its release date, and Anne will send you a “thank you” gift. Check out the details.

Rich Relationships by Selena Soo

• A guide to building powerful relationships with clients, mentors, referral partners, and other people who can help you achieve your professional goals.
• The book includes scripts for reaching out and proposing win-win collaborations.
• I was honored to be Selena’s writing partner as she crafted this book, which went on to win a Gold Medal from the Readers’ Favorite Book Awards.

Two articles I wrote: 

• “Shoot Your Shot,” a true story about a Hollywood actress who made an unconventional request. 
• “Ask for Miracles,” another true story about a friend who needed $300,000 fast—and how a courageous ask changed everything.

Want to Work with Me?

Ready to write your first—or next—book?

I work with a small number of clients each year. As a writer, editor, and book coach, I can help you: 

• Get clear on your book idea and the message you want to bring across.
• Understand your publishing options (self-publishing, hybrid, and traditional) and choose the path that is right for you.
• Connect with literary agents who may be interested in representing you.
• Craft a successful book proposal that leads to a publishing deal.
• Write a powerful, bestselling book that changes readers’ lives.

My clients and their books have appeared on The Wall Street Journal, USA Today, and Los Angeles Times bestseller lists, on Good Morning America, in The New York Times, Forbes, and beyond.

Visit this webpage to learn more about working with me, including selected projects, awards, praise from clients, and pricing.

Email alexandra@alexandrafranzen.com if there’s a project you’d like to discuss.