My Morning Routine

In the pre-child era of my life, I had a lovely, peaceful morning ritual. I’d wake up naturally (no alarm clock), sip coffee in silence, and watch the dawn sky turn pink and lavender. Delightful.

Once my daughter Nora was born, life expanded in beautiful, awe-inspiring ways.

And—as is typical for many new parents—my mornings shifted from cozy to chaotic.

For the first three years of Nora’s life, I didn’t have an intentional morning routine. Just bleary, sleep-deprived, white-knuckle survival mode.

My Previous Morning Routine

During the first few years of my child’s life, the pattern went like this:

Nora wakes (3 am, 4 am, 5 am—who knows?) and immediately cries for me. She’s hungry and wants mama right now.
The sound jolts me awake.
With my nervous system on high alert, I leap out of bed, heart pounding, and rush over to her crib.
Without taking a moment to splash water on my face or even use the toilet, I instantly spring into mom-mode: rocking, soothing, feeding, all the things.
The rest of the morning blurs into nursing, diapers, cleanup, and later (once she is older) coaching her through tantrums and meltdowns, lunch packing, persuading her to get buckled into the car seat (always a Herculean feat!), and getting out the door on time.
By 9 am, when I begin my workday, I’m already exhausted—and the day has only just begun.

This was my “morning routine” for about 1,000 mornings in a row. Unsurprisingly, each day started on a frazzled note.

Could I have created a better routine for myself during those infant and toddler years? Absolutely.

But did I? No, I did not.

Why not? Fatigue. Brain fog. Overwhelm. It’s hard to come up with creative solutions to problems when you’re worn out and not thinking clearly. I resigned myself to the idea that “this is just how it is right now” and “this won’t last forever.”

Eventually, Nora started sleeping until 6 am consistently. Life-changing!

I thought, “We have entered a new era! This is an opportunity to revamp my routine.”

I grabbed a notepad, mapped out an ideal morning, and committed to trying it out…

My Current Morning Routine

For the last six months, my routine has looked like this:

I wake at 5 am—an hour before my husband and child.
I head to the kitchen, start the coffee machine, use a chilled face roller (like this one), and drink a big glass of water.
I sip coffee while listening to calm, inspiring music (here’s a Morning Routine Playlist I curated with my favorites).
I write a gratitude list, then roll out my yoga mat and stretch for 10 minutes.
I read my 100 Day Letter (it’s a description of the life I want 100 days in the future, written in the present tense as though these future events have already happened).
Lastly, I think about the most important things I want to accomplish or experience today: “By the end of today, I want to be celebrating…”

By the time Nora gets up, I am refreshed, focused, caffeinated, and so happy to greet her.

I pull her onto the couch and we cuddle and talk while my husband makes us breakfast.

As Nora gets older, I’m sure my routine will evolve once again. But for now, this is how my day begins—and it’s a complete 180 from how it used to be.

A Great Morning Begins the Night Before

A concept I learned from naturopathic physician Dr. Corina Dunlap is that deep, restorative sleep starts in the morning.

Beginning your day with frantic energy sets a negative snowball into motion, which gathers speed throughout the day, leading to poor-quality sleep at night.

The same is true in reverse: going to bed too late and getting low-quality sleep means the next morning will be rough.

Morning and night are connected.

For my positive morning routine to happen, I needed to adjust my evening routine as well: a soothing wind-down, reading a physical book rather than bingeing Netflix, and an earlier bedtime.

Behind Every Behavior Is a Belief

Psychologist Dr. Sasha Heinz once told me, “Every behavior is the expression of a belief.”

If you believe, “I need every single minute of sleep I can get. I don’t want to wake up earlier because then I’ll be even more tired,” then you’ll hit the snooze button (even if it means a frenzied rush later).

On the other hand, if you believe, “Waking up earlier is hard sometimes, but it’s a trade-off that’s worth it because when I get up early and take some time for myself, I have more energy for the rest of the day,” you’ll get up at dawn and have a very different experience.

Most people try to change their behavior without addressing the belief driving this behavior in the first place.

We promise ourselves we will change, relying on willpower and brute force: “I’ll just do it!” This never works. A shift in thinking must come first.

To change my routine, I had to question some of my convictions and assumptions and try out new ones.

New beliefs lead to new behaviors, which lead to new outcomes.

Consistent, Not Perfect

Rebuilding my morning routine has reinforced a few simple truths. Things I already knew, but needed to remember:

If something isn’t working, you don’t have to grimace and endure it.

You can build something better.

Perfection is not the goal.

There’s no world in which I will complete 100% of my morning routine checklist items, 100% of the time. That’s unrealistic. The goal is 80/20.

If I do my ideal morning routine 80% of the time, that’s enough to keep me feeling great. The other 20%? Life happens—and that’s okay.

Small decisions add up.

Waking earlier. Water before coffee. Journaling instead of zoning out in front of a TV show that I don’t even particularly enjoy. These choices compound into a life that feels radically different.

Start with One Hour

What’s one part of your day that needs a tune-up?

The first hour of your morning? First hour of your workday? Final hour of the evening?

What would make this part of your day so much better?

What’s a plan that is inspiring and realistic for the season of life you are in?

You don’t have to overhaul everything in your life overnight.

Start with one hour.

The ripple will spread into the other 23 hours of your day.