“How important it is for us to recognize and celebrate our heroes and she-roes!” –Maya Angelou
You said it, Maya.
True story: I have a full-tilt existential crisis, oh … every 6 months or so.
During those tumultuous times, I question my value, my skills, my impact on the world, my hair color, my skincare regime, my relationships, my life direction, my thinly-veiled sugar addiction, my (over)use of exclamation marks, my grammatical inadequacies, my limited upper-body strength … and more.
I’ve learned to honor each “existential crisis” for what it truly is —
an opportunity to remember who I am, and reveal who I’m becoming.
And when I find myself agonizing over my “values,” my “mission” and “what really matters,” I simply turn to my pantheon of heroes. They always remind me.
HERO WORSHIP: it’s a self-awareness & life direction JACKPOT!
Ready for a playful exercise?
It’s a classic: The Fantasy Dinner Party.
Here’s how it works: you get to invite up to 10 of your greatest heroes to an imaginary soirée.
But that’s just the beginning. Next: jot down a few reasons why each hero is invited — and what it says about you.
I’ll go first …
My Fantasy Dinner Party …
Guest #1: RuPaul | Drag queen, supermodel, singer & author
Why she’s invited: Whether she’s promoting her latest disco-fueled album (“AVAILABLE ON iTUNES!”) or hosting her latest reality showdown, her personal pride & conviction fill the whole room. Well, most of it. The rest is filled by her uh-mazing HAIR!
I adore Ru’s over-the-top charisma & unabashed self-promotion.
And while she could easily dominate the spotlight, every time, her whole raison d’être is to inspire greater confidence & self-appreciation in others, first.
As Ru always says: “If you can’t love yourself, how in the HELL you gonna love anybody else?”
What this says about me: I aspire to be a symbol of irrepressible confidence & over-the-moon self-expression. And: I want to inspire those qualities in other people, too. YAH!
Your turn!
Who’s invited to your fantasy dinner party — and why?
And — what does each guest say about YOU?
Speaking of fantasy invites …
A few wonths (that’s weeks + months, because my feeble mind cannot recall) ago, I was invited to speak at The Anti-Summit: a virtual event for creative misfits & rebels.
My talk — which goes live on November 5th — covers the dreaded Internet penis envy, the agony of over-comparison, and how to lift yourself out of a serious creative slump.
Ariana & Christina (The Anti-Summit co-creators) did a stellar job at keeping the conversation brisk, bubbly & deliciously surprising. If you’d like to download the goods, deffffinitely sign up at Anti-Summit.com. The rabble-rousing begins on October 15th. Oh HELL yes.
Guest #1: RuPaul | Drag queen, supermodel, singer & author

LOVE this….hmmm……let’s see…who would I invite?
Jay Z: I love that he comes from very humble roots and achieved so much. He seems so real despite his massive fame.
Marilyn Manson: I think he’s brilliant. And having some creepy factor at any gathering is a good thing. I don’t like safe.
Mary Ellen Mark: Her photography has always captivated me. She’s seen so much – would love to hear about her travels and the people she’s met. This woman is DEEP and her work tells stories – I want to know what is behind those haunting photos.
Anthony Bourdain: Every dinner party needs a resident gourmand. I like people who are fearless eaters with expensive tastes. No special diets, please. It makes me cranky.
Eugene Hutz: He’s super smart and sexy. I need eye candy.
Rick Ross: I like ballas. He’s da boss of ballas.
Sid Vicious: Because I might just want to stage a little intervention while I’m at it. i hate to see an interesting person meet a sad fate.
RuPaul: After she’s done hanging with you, Alex, both you and her would come to my gathering and we’d be all up on it ‘n stuff. Um…yeah.
What does this list say about me? I like to have fun and I like to be entertained. I don’t like to take things too seriously – unless it comes down to helping someone who really needs it. Then the bling and grillz go to the side and I’m ready to dig in deep and be present. I may laugh ‘n all but underneath all the silly, I really care.