For all the beautiful young writers & artists trying to ‘figure it all out’ . . .

I’ve gotten a lot of emails over the past week from aspiring writers & artists, future architects & engineers. College students. Recent grads. Chronologically young, or simply young at heart.

People trying, desperately, to figure it all out. Y’know — life, love, work, livelihood, the universe . . .
and everything.

And everyone seems to be bare-knuckle boxing with some variation of the very same question:

“How do I figure out what I want to be when I grow up?”

Well. May I remind you that nobody knows what’s going to rick your roll, rock your socks, flip your system & secure your future. Nobody. It’s your job — your central quest, as a human being — to fit all the mysterious pieces together.

But that being said, here’s my two & a half cents.

The only way to figure out what you want to BE — or more precisely, who you already ARE — is to engage in a lifelong game of Trial & Error.

I didn’t step into my current career & identity overnight — and I certainly didn’t have a roadmap. For most of my life, I’ve been a proud dilettante — trying on roles, testing identities, playing with my powers, seeing what fit. When things felt RIGHT, I went full-throttle. When things felt WRONG, I got out — fast.

I’ve been a public radio promotions coordinator & a freelance journalist. A wheatgrass juicer & a computer lab supervisor. A dramaturge’s assistant & a yoga studio receptionist. A student of Victorian literature & a prophylactic saleswoman at licensed brothels in southern New Zealand. I’ve written poetry, erotic stories, op-ed pieces, dry-as-a-bone technical articles, book reviews and artist profiles — and gotten ‘em published: sometimes for money, sometimes for giggles, and once, for a pair of ski lift tickets. And that’s just the frosting on my résumé cupcake.

I’ve discovered my talents — and continue to do so — by trying, floundering, noticing, reinventing, and trying again. And again.

Maybe there’s an easier, swifter way. A quick-fix pill for self-illumination. If you find one, let me know.