When you’re laser-lucid CLEAR on WHO you are & WHY you’re extraordinary, life gets a whoooole lot more fun.
Jobs come a-calling.
The media comes a-knocking.
Opportunities gracefully sink into your lap.
Clients genuflect on your doorstep.
True clarity is dazzlingly rare . . . and completely mesmerizing.
When you’ve got it, you get what you want.
And a few things you never knew you wanted.
But do now.
True story: I came into some major-laser clarity recently, when (during an inverted yoga pose, you know how it goes) I realized that a HUGE part of my work on the planet is to help people get vibrantly clear on what makes them (beyond) valuable . . . and (finally!) find the words to sing it, sell it, and swirl it all around.
MAGNETIC CLARITY. That’s my magic. And my gift. So I made a wee-book about it.
3 Questions To Get MAGNETIC CLARITY
. . . on your (real) expertise, your signature dance moves, and the results you can undeniably promise.
It’s all sparkly & luxey hot. Like a sun-baked disco ball.
And it’s my insta-gift to you — when you jump on my mailing list.
(Already on my list? MAGNETIC CLARITY is already in your inbox. Boom shaka laka.)
And then I got to thinking (a dangerous pastime, I know) about all the overlooked niches & missed opportunities for aspiring coaches.
Everyone needs a ‘hook’, right? A zingy core of uniquity that really sets ‘em apart from the squabbling masses? So why become just another Life Coach (ho, hum) when you could become . . . an Eternal Life Coach? Or a D&D (Martha Beck-certified) Dungeon Master Coach? Now we’re talking! HA!
If you’re on the prowl for an unmistakable angle for your coaching business, feel free to pluck one of these ideas. And feel free to send me 15% of your annual profits. PayPal is fine.
Instead of becoming a LIFE COACH, why not become a . . .
1. Basic Life Skills Coach. Mentor your clients in the delicate arts of changing a tire, cleaning a mucky stove, filing taxes in a timely fashion, and writing prompt thank you notes! Foster a generation of bonafide grown ups! Change the world, one properly-separated laundry basket at a time!
2. Mediocrity Life Coach. Take your life from ‘fairly awful’ to ‘pretty OK’, in just twelve moderately action-packed weeks! And discover that (almost) anything is possible, when you (sort of) believe in yourself!
3. Life Coach for Life Coach’s Life Coaches. Why coach ‘civilians’, when you could go straight to real source of social change: as a life coach for other life coach’s life coaches!
4. Reality-check Coach. For starry-eyed clients who’ve been thoroughly overpumped by overeager coaches, and need to be reminded that you can’t actually quit your job & start a community-funded unicorn sanctuary, glitter grotto & candyfloss atelier. With actual unicorns.
5. Gothic Life Coach. Not everyone wants ebullient pep talks & actionable to-do’s & accountability check-points! Perhaps your ideal clients would be better served by Edgar Allen Poe quotations, despondent musings, and a poetic grasp on the frailty & futility of life.
6. Second Life Coach. See also: World of Warcraft Guild Coach, Live-Action-Role-Playing Coach, Dungeons & Dragons (Martha Beck-certified) Dungeon Master Coach.
7. The Facts of Life Coach. For people’s whose slacker parents never sat them down to ‘splain the birds & the bees.
8. Eternal Life Coach. Teen vampires have self-esteem obstacles, too! Also: trendy!
9. ‘Such is Life!’ Coach. No goal-setting. No milestones. No results-driven mind-shifting methodology. Just plenty of ennui, weary sighs & exasperation. Defeatism is the new Fulfillment! C’est la vie!
10. Born Again Life Coach. Fairly self-explanatory.
11. Catchphrase Coach. “BAM!” “Book ‘em, Danno” “Danger, Will Robinson” “Tastes great! Less filling!” If you don’t have a signature catchphrase to anchor your life & career strategy, do you really have a snowball’s chance in hell? At anything?
12. Hypothetical Relationship Coach. Relationships are complicated. But d’you know what’s even more complicated? Hypothetical relationships — like your relationship with the cute girl on the bus who may or may not have given you a ‘knowing’ glance, last Tuesday. Or the Twitter follower who’s unusual exclamation point (!) may or may not have been meant in a flirtatious fashion. So many variables! Clarity, please!
13. Slice of Life! Coachery & Artisan Bakery. Combine your twin passions for personal development & gourmet pastry preparation in a thriving local business! Swing by for a radical life design session — with a warm almond croissant! (Side-note: this idea is actually pretty awesome. Somebody do it. Please.)
I trust I have left you thoroughly inspired.
Here’s to your swift & staggering success!
“OMG, that pedicure like, CHANGED MY LIFE.”
“These bacon-wrapped dates are CHANGING MY LIFE.”
“Have you heard of the band Cuddle Magic? CHANGED MY LIFE.”
Yes. I know. I frivolously fling the phrase “CHANGED MY LIFE” around, as if nail polish & gourmet snacks & indie rock music actually have the capacity to alter my personal destiny in some fundamental way. I’m quite aware that I’m ridiculous. And I’m also vividly, even cynically aware that our lives are rarely, like, changed. By anything. Or anyone. Not dramatically, anyway.
So when something — or someone — really DOES change your life, it’s worth noting. And celebrating.
Danielle LaPorte — bestselling author, spiritual hotshot, business strategist extraordinaire, friend, mentor & former client — actually changed my life, livelihood & legacy. To the core. No metaphor.
Danielle believed in me — and hired me — back when I was thoroughly wet behind the ears.
: She taught me the ins & outs of rocking the online ‘verse & writing (mo’ better) language, that sells.
: She drilled the ultimate secret to success into my heart & soul: ‘do what you say you’re going to do’.
: She gave me a backstage tour of her empire — from social media strategy, to guest-posting & visibility, to a bonafide meeting with her NYC publishing team.
: She handed me her goddamn WordPress log-in details (the ultimate display of trust & respect.)
Under her Canadian wings of glory, I found my footing.
I’m grateful. Forever & a day.
In honor of Danielle’s new book, I’d intended to post a video heralding my love & appreciation. So I recorded one. Slightly drunk. And very weepy. Then I recorded another one. Sober. With bad lighting. T’was not meant to be.
So instead, I wrote a very fast, very bad poem. Because poetry is kinda like pizza — even when it’s sloppy, sweaty & awful, it’s still gooood.
Without further ado . . .
An Ode to LaPorte
to be possessed by a God.”
Husky-low & slow
And everyone falls over
Stilettos to the sky
Say no more.
We’re all Gods now.
And un-cool delight.
She taught me
know when to launch –
And that lipgloss
is a form of
No pristine balance
Just pure devotion
fame & fortune
swing into motion.
and thousands lean in
and we awaken, in unison
that you’re bigger
and you fill the sky
with your rising fire
Big hair. Gold pants.
Gliding away from the clamoring fans
Sitting with me (!)
Like I’m some kinda star That’s how I will always
“All our final decisions are made in a state of mind that is not going to last.”
– Marcel Proust
We’ve all plodded through the dense fog of indecision. Sometimes, the fog descends for an hour. Sometimes, for a quarter-century. Or a lifetime. Sometimes, we become so accustomed to ambivalence that we forget what it feels like to choose. The clean, slicing pleasure of this, not that. Him, not her. Here, not there.
If you’re unhappily wrestling with ever-growing columns of pros & cons . . . with complexity, uncertainty and doubt . . . with self-imposed pressure, anxiety & fear . . . or the bland, butter-knife edge of procrastination . . . here’s a thought: just make a choice. Any choice. It will be imperfect. Life usually is. But often, a step in any direction is better than spinning in place.
Behold: 7 ways to choose — today. Something. Anything. Now.
1. Hang upside down.
Inverting your body — by swinging your head between your knees, propping yourself up in a headstand, or simply laying flat on your back with a slight backwards tilt — increases blood flow to the brain.
More blood means more oxygen. And more oxygen means more neurotransmitters — like norepinephrine (attention!), dopamine (memory! motivation! assessment!) and serotonin (happiness!) — flooding your system.
All the power-chemicals you need to sift through your options. So flip it. And figure it out.
2. Talk to your mom.
According to a study at the University of Wisconsin, simply hearing your mother’s voice has a calming effect, releasing bursts of oxytocin (love! connection! security!) into your system, just like a hug or spoontastic cuddle.
And it doesn’t matter what you’re talking about — just hearing mama’s dulcet tones is enough to trigger the all-natural happy-drugs. So call mom. Calm down. And choose.
3. Anchor yourself.
Some of the wisest & most decisive people I know have an Anchor Question that drives all of their choices.
It’s rarely as bleak as you think. It’s (probably) highly unlikely. And with very few exceptions, everything is survivable.You’ve got this. No question.
5. Consult a mystic.
If doesn’t matter if you ‘believe’ in destiny, past lives, parallel planes, angels, spirit-guides or G-O-D. All that matters is that you’re open to exploring symbols, patterns & signs.
Talking to a gifted intuitive can unlock new ideas, illuminate repetitive thought patterns & shed light on fresh possibilities. And any mystic worth his (or her) salt will adamantly remind you that your fate is entirely in your own hands — and that you’re more powerful than you realize.
6. Shock & awe yourself.
If you’re uninspired by your current menu of options, go rogue. Choose something counter-intuitive — against your very nature.
Break convention. Baffle the crowd. Surprise yourself.
If you’re a selfless, service-driven angel of mercy, play against character. Choose something selfish, decadent & wildly nurturing.
Just for kicks.
If you’re a self-lovin’ pleasure-driven machine, flip it & reverse it. Choose something generous, expansive, and thoroughly outside yourself. Mix it up.
It’s riotously powerful to make a decision that rattles your Cool. You never know where it might lead . . .
7. When all else fails — be relentlessly random.
Flip a coin. Throw the dice. Ask a stranger. Ask a madman. Write all of your options on helium balloons, and see which one hits the ceiling first. Read the clouds. Read the tea leaves. Read an ink blot. Twist an apple core. Spin a globe. Pluck petals off a daisy.
Almost-completely-always, it’s more important to choose SOMETHING — to un-stick, to roll forward, to swing into action — than to choose RIGHT. Side bonus: once you’re in motion, you’re more likely to figure out what’s right. Process of elimination. It works.
So choose NOW. With the grand reassurance that you’re only choosing . . . for now.
“I chose and my world was shaken. So what?
The choice may have been mistaken — the choosing was not.
You have to move on.”
– Stephen Sondheim
And now, a brief word from our sponSOAR . . .
When I need to make a decision — and I need a celestial pep talk to get it poppin’ — there’s only one woman I call: Theresa Reed, aka The Tarot Lady.
Theresa believes that Tarot is far from swoopy, loopy, woo-woo frivolity — it’s a powerful empowerment tool for confident decision-making & communication, and it’s all about the magic of choosing your future.
Theresa is to Tarot what Yo-Yo Ma is to the cello. The gold-standard of excellence — a consistent virtuoso.
Theresa does readings over the phone, via email & in-person — if you’re fortunate enough to live in her ‘hood. And between you, me & the Internet — she could triple her rates this instant, and she’d still be a remarkable steal.
There’s really nothing more to say. Buy a reading for yourself — or a gift reading for a friend. And prepare for a bolt of cosmic clarity.
True story: I’ve worked with more than 80 coaches. (Not as a client. Sweet Kwanzaa-sauce. NOBODY needs that much coaching.)
I’ve written bios & manifestos & media kits & speaking gig run-downs & legal disclaimers & personal intros & networking scripts & mastermind invites & Twitter blurbettes for . . . Life coaches. Business coaches. Relationship, sensuality & intimacy coaches. Communication coaches. Social media coaches. Metaphysical coaches. Weight loss coaches. Parenting coaches. Athletic coaches. Martha Beck-certified Master coaches. Self-declared coaches.And every coachette in between.
I’d estimate I’ve spent about 1,000 hours interviewing, channeling & collaborating with coaches. Getting their soul’s work on (digital) paper. Mining for their power-gems. Sorting & sifting out their hopes, desires & refined philosophies.
And after 1,000 hours or so, you’re bound to pick up a few teachable tidbits. Unless you’re dead asleep.
Here’s what I’ve learned about life, the universe & everything (apologies to Douglas Adams) — from some of the finest & most devoted coaches in the industry. Soak it up.
1. It’s usually not what you think.
You think you want a quarter-million dollar book deal, a show on The Oprah Winfrey Network, a glam NYC agent & 10 million Twitter followers.
You might actually just want a word of approval from your mom. Or a humble but steady flow of clients, and every June & December off. Or a quaint home in Vermont, with your own maple grove. Or a dog. Or (gasp!) a lovely, lucrative JOB. With benefits.
The most obvious & shiny desire is often a decoy . . . for something simpler, quieter & more nourishing.
2. Except when it is.
And then sometimes, you really DO want a quarter-million dollar book deal, a show on The Oprah Winfrey Network, a glam NYC agent & 10 million Twitter followers. And that’s OK, too.
Go BIG, if big is what’s (genuinely) calling. Big is beautiful.
3. It’s all been done before.
News flash-o-la: you’re not going to be the first person on earth to write an e-book. Or launch a program. Or open a shop. Or read Tarot cards. Or teach a class on bicycle repair. Or screen-print a set of charmingly cheeky greeting cards. It’s ALL been done before.
But not — and this is important — in precisely the way that you’ll do it.
4. Except when it hasn’t.
Sometimes, you really are FIRST. First on the moon. First on the floor. First to leverage a new social media platform. First to hand-sew plush robot toys. First to sprinkle sea salt on caramel. First to think that thought.
Being first is a thrill. And if it happens once in your lifetime, you’re blessed. And brilliant.
Don’t grumble when others crush & swarm to follow in your footsteps. Handle your first-i-ness with grace. And move on.
5. Investments pave the way.
Remember Albert Einstein’s definition of insanity? “Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
If you’re not seeing the results you want, you’ve got to change something — your daily routine, your diet, your marketing strategy, your hairstyle, your habits, your hardwired & negatory beliefs. Anything.
Changing your life means changing where & how you invest your resources — your time, your attention, your energy, and your money.
Change your investments. Create new results.
6. Devotion saves the day.
Sometimes, we invest & re-invest & re-invest — and still don’t receive the rewards we desperately crave.
DEVOTION — complete, unwavering commitment & love — is what carries us through the dry times, and keeps us anchored during the high times.
Can’t get moving? Perpetually procrastinating? Diverting your energy? Stagnating? Blocked? Blue? Misaligned? If you peel back the psychological topography — of anyone, really — what you’ll find is a tender, tightly-coiled bud of fear.
Fear of investing, and not seeing any rewards (see #5). Fear of public shame. Fear of abandonment. Fear of poverty. Fear of the precise thing you (think) you want most (see #1).
Fear doesn’t like to be discovered & named. Because then it has to justify its existence. And it usually flunks the test.
8. Luck is no accident . . .
. . . and it’s magnetically drawn to DEVOTION (see #6).
Serendipity happens. Magic abounds. Allies are everywhere. Muses proliferate.