Want to be a driven, devoted writing machine? Get with the program.

 

“If the doctor told me I had six minutes to live,
I’d type a little faster.”
–Isaac Asimov

 
 
 

Want to write a book? (Seriously. Who doesn’t?)

If you’re like me, you dream of seeing your words in print. In a book. On the shelf.
With your name, inscribed in some kind of gleaming metallic ink, beaming from the cover.

God, can’t you just feel it?

Don’t you want it to be… real?

Danielle LaPorte & Linda Sivertsen — two publishing industry luminaries, with over a dozen published titles between them — know exactly how it feels to yearn for your first book deal. For that precious, life-changing vote of confidence that changes everything. And they’ve created a mammoth program — YOUR BIG BEAUTIFUL BOOK PLAN — to turn your inky aspirations into a publishing success story.

Introducing…

This motherload of all book-writing manuals clocks in at nearly 400 pages of sagacious how-to’s & rah-rah inspiration, plus 8 hours of video & audio, with snapshots from actual book proposals that landed six-figure deals, soared to the top of bestseller lists, and touched thousands of lives. Gems from 20+ leading-edge authors, so graciously shared.

It’s much more than a guidebook for crafting a proposal that’ll catch a literary agent’s attention — it’s a rallying cry for why it’s essential to get your word into the world, and how to reach that glorious finish line — a finished BOOK! — in this lifetime.

I had the privilege of being part of the production team for this program, and had a behind-the-scenes perspective on the whole creation process. The speed with which this hurricane of how-to’s came together (2 months & 14 days) and the graciousness & devotion of everyone involved (including graphic designer Mara Lubell, VA extraordinaire Angie Wheeler, transcription tag-teamers Cassie Oswald & Hillary Weiss, everyone’s favorite geekstar, Paul Jarvis, and our fearless leaders, Danielle & Linda) got me more than a little verklempt. (That’s Yiddish for “tongue-tied & misty-eyed,” by the way.)

Team Beautiful made sacrifices, in the name of (your) literary prowess & publishing success. Family holidays were curtailed. The emotional & creative equivalent of all-nighters were pulled, for weeks in a row. Midnight-oil editing rounds were carried out, with finesse. I even roped my boyfriend into the mayhem, for some finicky audio editing (and back massages, which I have yet to properly reciprocate). This was a labor of love. And when you crack open the program — which launches TODAY! — you’re gonna feel the love.

I could not be prouder of the sealed & delivered product. Massive value. Beautifully presented.
In modules that will turn bookish dabblers into driven, devoted publishing machines.

Get (with) the program. And write. Now.

 
 

 

Read More business // acceleration creativity // inspiration

Appreciation Incubation! A Fill-In-The-Gratitude Cheatsheet

 

You are so fucking grateful.

For the roof over your head. For a day off work. For the scent of cinnamon & crackling firewood.
For pumpkin scones with vegan icing.

Most of all — you’re grateful for the people who keep you safe, secure, hydrated, and swaddled in love, encouragement & beauty.

Friends. Family. Baristas. Teachers. Leaders. Entertainers. Lovers. Comrades. Cohorts.
Your unspeakably talented hair colorist.

You know who they are. And you need to tell them.
‘Tis the season, after all.

Here’s a Fill-In-The-Gratitude Cheatsheet to help you crank out some Instant Appreciation for the people who matter most — massage it, meld it, make it your own. And then send it. Today.

Plus! 7 people you might want to shower with gratitude, straight away. Like Obama. And yo’ momma.

 

Appreciation Incubation! :: A Fill-In-The-Gratitude Cheatsheet

Hey __________,

I’ve got just about everything I could want: food, clothes, a home, a {preferred mode of transportation}. I even make enough cash to enjoy a {favorite frivolous beverage} when I’ve got the yearning, to shell out ten bucks to see {ridiculous Blockbuster movie that you’re shame-faced to name} and to donate a few bucks to {favorite charity} each year. All things considered, I’m doing pretty {gloriously positive adjective}. Put simply: I’m happy.

I’ve got a lot to be grateful for. More than most people, on earth.

And I want you to know — of all the people, the places, the experiences, treats, pleasures & thrills in the world — your {presence / impact / friendship / support / guidance / hilarious, gut-busting truth-telling / exceptional love} in my life is one of the things I’m most grateful for.

As we lean into the New Year, eyes bright & hopeful for better times, higher goals & sweeter dreams, I hope you remember that you are loved. Treasured, even. And deeply, profoundly appreciated.

Here’s to your {wit / charm / wondrous intelligence / intrinsic beauty}.

Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.

{Your name}

 

7 places to point your appreciation.

Create & send a personal Declaration of Gratitude to any (or all) of the following people.
Betcha they’ll get a little verklempt.

1. President Obama!
(He’s had a rough year. Let’s pump him up!)

Write to:
Mr. Barack Obama
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, DC 20500 USA

2. Your local fire station!
They’re foxy, fearless & devoted to keeping you safely un-lit. Find your local station here.
And say thanks.

3. Your favorite high school teacher!
He or she still remembers you, you know. Teachers are magic like that.

4. Leonard Cohen!
Don’t let another year go by without thanking Leonard for being…the beautiful bodhisattva-poet he is.

Write to:
Leonard Cohen
c/o RK Management, LLC
9300 Wilshire Blvd. Suite 200
Beverly Hills, CA 90212 USA

5. Your first love!
Find them! Tell them how happy you are, and how fondly you remember your torrid youth. Isn’t that what Facebook is for? I wouldn’t know.

6. Your parents!
Or the people who feel & act like your parents.

Pluck out a favorite shared memory from your childhood (corndogs on the beach… your weekly trip to the public library… your first Sheryl Crow concert… ) and tell them about it, in detail. Tell them you’ll never forget it. Or them. Cue the waterworks.

7. The military!
Whether or not you believe that the military industrial complex should exist (hint: I don’t. Rabid pacifist to the grave.) the fact is, baby-faced boys & girls are dying for your right to be…well, a rabid pacifist. Politics aside–tell them that you care. And you’re grateful. And you hope they come home, soon.

Ship some love, at AnySoldier.com

 

I’m so fucking grateful… for you.

 


 

Read More lifescripts // what-ifs

How to be annoying & actively repel opportunities.

 

We live a great portion of our lives online.

 
We flirt, and tweet. We chat, and Skype. We hire, and fire. We make announcements. We tell our stories. We make requests — and ask for support, for promotion, for advice, for special favors.

Some are well-versed in the art of the Ask. These people get what they want.

Others make requests with an air of entitlement, absurd urgency or lack of common sense.
These people hear a lot of NO’s. And not the graceful, compassionate kind.
The please-leave-before-I-have-a-petite-aneurysm kind.

I’ve been on both sides of the ol’ Asking Fence, innumerable times. And I’ve observed a few common threads of grave annoyance, that I can’t bear to see continue.

This post is not intended to be mean-spirited, nit-picky or nay-sayery. Quite the opposite.
I YEARN for you to have everything you want. I’m ROOTING for the world to say YES to your needs. Thusly, it is with SUPREME HOPE for a less irritating (and more productive) future that I present my findings…to you.

 

Unfortunate Scenario #1: The “Urgent Deadline”

 
HOW TO BE ANNOYING :: Request a guest post, interview, or contribution for your special telesummit, blog feature, e-book, compendium…with an “urgent deadline” of less than 2 weeks away.

REALITY-CHECK :: People are busy. Schedules are brimming. Paid work takes priority, so unless you’re a bosom buddy or blood relative, give a wide berth. One month’s notice is civil and respectful, for freebie contributions.
 

Unfortunate Scenario #2: The Anonymous E-Blast

 
HOW TO BE ANNOYING :: Send out an impersonal (and unsolicited) email requesting promotional support for your new “21-step Guide To Blah-Be-Dee-Bloo” that begins, “Hey, Bloggers…”

MASS BLASTS BLOW :: If you’re aiming for an enthusiastic “YES,” write a personal note, with an actual name, and include some kind of indication that you give a damn about the human being you’re contacting. As one astute comrade put it, “one paragraph of sucking up, followed by your request.”

Try this, instead:

“Hey there, #name#.

Big fan here. I LOVE your work, your products, your whole vibe. Your recent post on homelessness in Los Angeles made me cry. Side-note: I’ve created a program, and I gotta be honest — you were a big part of my inspiration. A free copy is attached, and I’ve thanked you in the Acknowledgements section, on the final page. Hope it makes you blush.

Enjoy to the fullest.”

Unfortunate Scenario #3: Supreme Laziness

 
HOW TO BE ANNOYING :: Treat people like your personal Google butlers.

“I remember you wrote an article about saving money while backpacking to Budapest, but golly gee willikers, I just can’t find it!”

C’MON, NOW :: Virtually all websites & blogs have search fields, and barring that, there’s this new thing called Google. If you’re really, truly flummoxed, write a sugar-dusted fan letter, and THEN ask for help.
 

Unfortunate Scenario #4: Presumptuous Time-wasting

 
HOW TO BE ANNOYING :: Contact a service provider (with clearly articulated packages & offerings, detailed in full on their website) and say something like…

“I see that you offer a weekend-long coaching retreat, but could I just book you for, like, a half-hour?”

UH, HELLO? :: If said service provider wanted to offer their services in dramatically shorter, cheaper increments, chances are, they’d say so. And while it’s possible they’ve got a “secret bargain deal” bubbling on the backburner, it’s far more likely you’ll hear a terse “NO.” Wouldn’t you?
 

Unfortunate Scenario #5: The Ol’ Follow up (and up. and up. and up.)

 
HOW TO BE ANNOYING :: Persistently “check-in,” “circle back” and “poke,” past the point of reason.

“Hey, I’m just circling back on my reminder note from yesterday, where I was following up on last week’s check-in note to see if you might be interested in participating in my 100-day Blog Challenge.”

OH, SWEETHEART :: If the initial answer is “maybe, let me think about it” and the second answer is “silence,” it’s time to quit while you’re ahead, and mooooove on. Poking & prodding rarely does any good, and your time is better spent approaching someone new.
 

Unfortunate Scenario #6: Excessive Quid Pro Quos

 
HOW TO BE ANNOYING :: Outline strict, stingy & vaguely insulting demands, before you deign to bless the person you’re contacting with the item in question.

“We’ll send you a free toaster, IF you agree to review it on your site and send a dedicated email to your list. And we will require a link back to our site, featured prominently in your sidebar, for a minimum of 30 days.”

MUCH BETTER ::

“We’d LOVE to send you a free toaster, and if it rocks your world & tickles your fancy, a review, tweet or even just a note of feedback would be FANTASTIC. No pressure, of course. Thanks in advance!”

 

Think it through. Keep it personal.
Carry yourself gracefully — online & off.

 

 

Read More business // acceleration

In praise of lo-fi living.

 

I have a toaster.

It toasts one side of each slice, then proffers a half-hearted “pop.”
I flip the bread. Press the lever again.
It sinks down with a sigh,
graciously crisping the second side.

If I bought a new toaster–
Titanium jaws! Melt-proof nobs!
Heat-intensity beams, with twelve different forcefields!
–I could save myself 42 seconds, each morning.
Or so my boyfriend points out, amidst exasperated jostlings of jam.

Over the arc of a year,
That’s 15,330 seconds I could spend BETTERING MYSELF!
Tightening my buns!
Organizing receipts!
Pre-soaking soiled garments!
Mastering the art of something-or-other!

I’d rather not, thanks.

I like my lo-fi toaster,
and the precious waste of time
it commemorates in the crumb-catcher
every morning, at nine.

Other lo-fi luxuries that I like:
kissing (which, so far as I can tell, has never been criticized for its severe ‘inefficiency’)
books (without high-contrast E-Ink displays)
bicycles (with zing-zing bells, to warn oncoming traffic)
roasted rosemary potatoes, silver birch paper
moving my limbs in a walk-along motion
holding hands, holding rails
holding still, holding on.

My toaster was a gift from my mother.
(She’s quite well, and thank you.)
But that’s not why I love it.
(No offense, mother.)

I love the fact that it hasn’t cottoned on
to the fact that it’s so woefully ill-equipped
to handle the singular task it’s been given in life.
And it just doesn’t mind in the slightest.
It summons the strength to do what it can,
and lets the Great Hand of Fate flip the bits that it must.
There’s a lesson, in that.
Or maybe just breakfast.

 

 

Read More creativity // inspiration

$1000 a day? How DARE you!

 

I remember how THRILLED I was when my 9-to-5 boss offered me a 5% raise, after my first year in his department.

I’d created a new system to write & record on-air promotional messages, drafted technical manuals that actually made sense, launched a workshop to get teenage girls excited about broadcasting technology — and I’d done it all in mustard-yellow tights and faux-cowskin pumps. That brought my hourly rate to… just a hair over 17 bucks.

Oh, I was KILLING it. Winning at life! An extra shot of English toffee in my soy latte, if you please. Make that a double.

The day I quit my j-o-b, I decided my freelance writing rate would be somewhere in the realm of $25 bucks an hour. That quickly jumped to $35. Then $40. Then $45. Then a beloved client informed me that she was boosting my hourly to $55, just ’cause. Well, if you insist…

125+ clients — and hundreds upon hundreds of bios, manifestos, taglines, vision statements, sales pages, homepages, splash pages, upsells, cross-sells, pitch letters and promotional pow-wows later — I was playing in a different power-league. But my rates hadn’t quite caught up.

The day I set my day-rate at $1000, I cried. With relief. With gratitude. And, uh, with terror.

I heard RuPaul’s voice echoing in my head,

“Oh girl, how DARE she!”

How DARE I, indeed.

Because…I’m worth it? Meh. Sure. So are other (cheaper) folks.
Because…I’m booked 3 months in advance? Maybe. Getting closer.
Because…I’m offering a ferociously swift wordsmithing service that no one else in the world can provide, in precisely the way that I swing it? Possibly. Better.
Because…having persuasive, memorable & inspiring language to describe your life’s work is worth thousands upon thousands of dollars, in business acceleration & personal clarity? Uh-huh. Sooo close.
Because…when my clients invest $1000 to spend a day with me, we both show up FULLY — and the result is a creative glitterbomb that’s bigger & more meaningful that either one of us could imagine? BINGO.

Now, I’m not suggesting that people inherently have to pay major bucks to revel in the positive side-effects of deep commitment.

But something fascinating happens when you charge “how DARE you!” rates for your time…

You raise the brilliance barometer — for yourself.
You RISE to your own self-declared pricetag.
You make DAMN sure that you’re worth it — that you’re giving everything you’ve got, every time.
And your clients LEVITATE to meet you, there.

To put it down sharply…

How DARE you command breathtaking rates for your time?

For your book learnin’, street learnin’ & synthesized wisdom? For your DNA-inscribed gifts? For the opportunity to experience the apex of your capacity to serve, to inspire, to create, to transform — lives, businesses, communities, societies, the planet? For the skills that people are literally falling in line to get a dose of? For your LIFE’s WORK?

How DARE you…not.

 

 

And now, a brief word from our sponSOAR . . .

Today’s post is generously sponSOARED by Erika Lyremark of The Daily Whip — a brrrazen life + business coach who convinced me to raise my rates multiple times (including, on one occasion, over the phone in a strip mall parking lot, as a bleary-eyed gentleman rapped on my car window & foisted a full pound of marijuana in my face. (I declined his generous offer.)

Erika’s next group-bonanza coaching program — The Morning Whip — kicks off bright & early on November 20th…and if you’re looking for hardcore confidence, clarity & commitment to your unfolding business, you should bare your bottom (metaphorically, of course) for Erika’s signature Whippings.

Feeling timid? You can get yourself a private 15-minute Whipping with Ms. Lyremark, as a free teaser to the Morning Whip program…right here. Take it like a lady, OK?

Read More business // acceleration