How To Bestow A Courageous Compliment

 
“You are not a brat.”
– My big brother, elementary school graduation, 1995

“When you start talking, everyone listens.”
– Thespian club member, unremarkable afternoon, 2002

“Damn girrrrrl. You smell good. Makes me wanna spend some money on you, or sumthin!”
– Enthusiastic fellow, cheese aisle, West Hollywood Trader Joe’s, 2005

“You look just like Elton John. Are you . . . a man?”
– Random frat boy, Halloween night, 2006

“You almost hotted me to death (wheeze).”
– My asthmatic beau, 2010

“I’m so proud of the life you’re designing.”
– My mom, en route to LAX, 2011

 

Potent, Provocative Compliments

 
I’ve received plenty of lofty praise over the course of my 26 years. But the compliments I remember vividly — the ones I filed away in my Permanent Compliment Repository — all had a few things in common.

:: They were unsolicited & delightfully unexpected.

:: They were short, sweet & to the point.

:: They highlighted an aspect of ME that I’d forgotten was . . . compliment-worthy.

So, what’s the secret formula for courageous compliments?

I’ve got a theory or two.

 

BE STARTLINGLY SPECIFIC

 
“You’re so pretty.” = meh.
“You’re so pretty, it’s almost offensive.” = YES.

“I liked your latest blog post.” = blah.
“Your latest blog post triggered an epic sobfest, followed by two hours of journaling & some serious realizations about my relationship with money.” = WORD.

“You look nice today.” = um, thanks?
“You are working that turtleneck sweater, Miss Thing! Clear the floor! Runway battle!” = TRUTH.

 

LOCK EYES & LURE ‘EM IN

 
I talk about eye contact all the flipping time. But really. Really. It’s a long-lost art. Direct, unwavering eye contact amplifies everything you say, ten-thousand-fold.

 

DON’T DELAY

 
What a you waiting for? A wedding? A book launch? A presidential election? If you’ve got a compliment to bestow, don’t waste a moment. And don’t wait for The Moment. Just give it. Random, non sequitur praise is often the most memorable. And appreciated.

 

USE HUNDRED-DOLLAR WORDS

 
Brush up your Shakespeare. Dust off your thesaurus. Bust out some oft-overlooked adjectives. Get wordy with it. Take the time to craft the perfect phrase. And please, refrain from LOLs and SRLSYs.

 

BE VULNERABLE

 
The richest compliments reveal a glimmer of vulnerability, in the person giving ‘em. Think about the ultimate compliment: “I love you.” Now that’s some hot vulnerability. Courageous compliments come from that same heart-space.

 

Compliment Show & Tell!

 
What’s the most courageous compliment you’ve ever bestowed — or received? And, uh, keep it PG-13. For the children.

XO.
 

 

Read More creativity // inspiration lifescripts // what-ifs

Tools of the Trade

 

Running the Haus of Franzen Inter-Galactic Empire requires an arsenal of tools . . . as well as French Press coffee, sparkling lime-flavored H20, and home-cooked meals prepared by attractive paramours. In frilly aprons.

I can’t dole out hottie houseslaves (and mine is taken) but I CAN point you towards the digital tools that keep my business afloat.

Deal? Deal.

 

TIME = MONEY

:: FRECKLE
The difference between a passionate hobby and a legitimate business? Diligent, detailed, systematic time-tracking and billing.

One of my rockstar clients (Amy Hoy) co-created Freckle, a time-management program with lots of fancy features . . . and a friendly, inviting aesthetic. I’m a fanatical convert.

Monthly memberships start at $12 (or, try it free for 30 days). Believe me, the system pays for itself.

:: 1SHOPPINGCART

My favorite digital product distribution system, bar none. Their customer support team is highly-accessible and clued-in — they’ve never failed me. And it syncs up beautifully with PayPal, for effortless individual and mass payments.

Lock down a 30-day trial (with unlimited phone support, to help you get cozy with all the bells & whistles) for $3.95. No brainer.

 

DESIGN, FOR NON-DESIGNERS

:: iWORK PAGES
See those purdy header images at the top of each blog post? Pages. And the colored dividers between post sections? Pages. And pretty much everything else that I spew into the universe? Pages.

For funzies and free time, I also dig Be Funky, Kuler and Picnik.

 

EMAILZ & TRAFFIC JAMS

:: GOOGLE APPS FOR BUSINESS
If you’re still using @hotmail.com or @yahoo.com or (heavens to Betsy!) @aol.com for your email . . . honey-bear, we need to have a heart-to-heart. Setting up a slick email address (with a domain under your dominion) adds a serious layer of credibility to your electronic missives.

I use Google Apps for Business for my (various) email accounts, and I obsessively categorize incoming messages into alphabetized buckets, labeled by client name. Google Docs rock my house, too.

:: GOOGLE ANALYTICS

I’ll be honest: I don’t track my website & blog traffic as frenetically as I . . . should? But thrice a month, it’s useful to log in and scope out my most trafficky articles and inbound links. Google Analytics is free, robust & useful.

 

CONVO CAPTURING & FILE -SWAPPING

:: SKYPE & ECAMM

I record all of my client consultation calls and brainstorming sessions via Skype & eCamm, and then share them swiftly (and privately) with . . .

DROPBOX

Lots of storage space. Attractive user experience. And it’s super-easy to “invite” folks to view private folders and download docs, audio files, images & videos.

:: 4SHARED

To distribute hefty audio & video files to multiple customers, I dig 4Shared. It’s not exactly “pretty,” but it’s functional and frugal. You can direct customers to multi-file download pages (where they can download files individually) or group files into tidy .zip files.

:: EFAX

Fax machines may seem as antiquated as carrier pigeons, but occasionally, someone might need a tax form or non-disclosure agreement faxed over, on the speedy. eFax allows you to send PDFs to fax lines . . . through the Internet. Magic? Pretty much.

 

BITS & PIECES

:: BIT.LY

A nice URL shortener, so you can cram long-ass links into Twitter. Create a (free) account, and you can customize your shortlinks, like a fancy Duke.

:: PANDORA
I cannot, shall not, will not work without a constant stream of energizing music. S’just how I roll.
I recently upgraded to Pandora One. No commercials, unlimited listening, customized background skins, AND the sweet, sweet knowledge that I’m NOT gouging the music industry? Consider me a customer for life!

:: AMAZON WISHLIST

I’ve curated a public Amazon Wishlist . . . and not JUST because I really, really like presents. It acts as a digital inspiration wall, full of trinkets and treasures that feel me with rapture.

Two clever features: the Universal Wish List button allows you to add items to your Wish List, even if they aren’t in the Amazon database. So, you can chuck indie gems from Etsy, Shana Logic and Smashing Darling onto your Amazing Wish List, and keep it all convened.

And! You can “hide” your mailing address, so that creepy stalkers can send you tokens of admiration through the Internet — without discovering the location of your abode! Everybody wins!

 

TOOLGASM!

Which tools & apps add pleasure & pizazz to your workday? Do tell.

XO.
 

 

Read More business // acceleration

Scarcity ≠ Reality

 

READY FOR A RIGHTEOUS FACT-SMACK?

Right now, as you’re reading these words . . .

:: There are 6.8+ billion people on earth.
:: There are 182 million websites on the Internet.
:: There are 300 – 500 jobs being posted on Twitter.
(And there’ll be 300 – 500 more, one minute from now.)
:: There are 1,190,572+ open positions waiting to be filled.
:: There are $48+ trillion dollars flying around the world economy.

Money is money. Energy is energy. It’s sensible to be frugal. But coupon-clipping your way through life is ultimately a pyrrhic victory.

When you stuff yourself into a stingy, fearful mental panic-room, your soul spins its wheels —
and you repel affluence like an inverted magnet.

Regardless of the economic climate, there are stupendous numbers of opportunities.
There is — always has been, always will be — ravenous room for top talent, in every industry.

If you are diligent, focused, respectful and gracious, you cannot help but lock down work. Lots of work. Too much work. So much, you’ll need an intern. Or a clone.

There IS enough.
There is MORE than enough.
The vastness and volume of . . .
Grade-A opportunities & affordable apartments & available soulmates & accessible dream jobs
. . . is astounding.

Adjust your reality accordingly.

XO.
 

 

Read More creativity // inspiration

Promotional Pie Charts & Ferocious Fanatics :: The Art of Client Attraction

 

Lauren Caselli of Living Life Barefoot shot me a shimmery prompt early this morning.

Hey Alex,

I know you’re prolly busy pimpin’ some prose or lounging in your boyshorts and legwarmers, but I was wondering if you’d consider writing a post about HOW you got your clients (whether it was a website or just people that you had networked with . . . or both!) and WHERE you looked to get freelance writing jobs and editing for other people.

Of course, if you wrote about fairy wings and foofy tutus and pirouettes, I’d read it too.

Thanks!

I heart you!

Lauren

I will spare you my extended thoughts on fairy wings (too femme) and foofy tutus (only if they’re neon green) and pirouettes (difficult). But how I got my clients — that’s a tasty question. With a two-part answer. Behold!

 

PART ONE :: Construct your promotional pie chart

When a client asks me how to promote their business, find a sweet j-o-b, or spread the word about a new venture, I tell them to visualize their promotional plan as a personalized pie chart.

Your pie has several slices, and the size of each slice is determined by your promotional personality.

:: If you’re intensely reclusive, but razor-sharp with words, your BLOGGING slice may be larger than your PUBLIC SPEAKING slice.

:: If you shine on camera, but break out in “business hives” (as Dyana Valentine would say) when it comes to cranking out daily blog updates, your VIDEO SERIES slice might be dishier.

:: If you loathe all things virtual, but rock at face-to-face interactions, CO-WORKING, COMMUNITY EVENTS and COFFEE DATE slices could dominate your pie.

Feeling my flow? Here are a couple more promotional slices to round out your ideal pie:

 

Online Sphere

:: TWITTER / FACEBOOK / LINKEDIN
:: E-NEWSLETTERS
:: GUEST-BLOGGING
:: INTERVIEWS
:: TESTIMONIALS
:: PODCASTS
:: SEO OPTIMIZATION
:: GOOGLE ADWORDS
:: CONTESTS, GIVEAWAYS, COUPONS & VOUCHERS
:: AFFILIATE PROGRAMS
:: SPONSORSHIP & ADVERTISING
:: PUBLIC WEBINARS
:: DISCUSSION FORUMS
:: ONLINE JOB APPLICATIONS
:: QUERY LETTERS & SPEC SUBMISSIONS
:: VIRAL YOUTUBE VIDEOS ABOUT DOUBLE-RAINBOWS & DOUBLE DREAM HANDS

 

Offline Orbit

:: NETWORKING EVENTS
:: CONFERENCES
:: UNCONFERENCES
:: INFORMATIONAL INTERVIEWS
:: WORKSHOPS & SEMINARS
:: GUERILLA ADVERTISEMENTS
:: PUBLIC RADIO
:: PRO BONO GIGS
:: BOARD OF DIRECTORSHIP
:: DIRECT MAIL MARKETING
:: PROFESSIONAL GUILDS & UNIONS
:: OPEN MIC NIGHTS
:: CHANCE ENCOUNTERS
:: THOSE DUDES WHO DRESS UP IN FURRY COSTUMES, STAND ON STREET-CORNERS & TWIRL SIGNS WITH ARROWS

 

PART TWO :: Attract high-caliber, high-impact advocates

The bestest / fastest way to attract elite clients, and lots of ‘em?

Be triple-distilled, out-of-this-world, riotously exceptional at what you do.

If you’re consistently ace, you will transform curious cats into customers > customers into advocates > and advocates into rabid, ferocious, die-hard fanatics.

:: Be sooooo good, that people literally can’t stop talking (and tweeting) about you.

:: Be sooooo good, that people boast to their friends about the fact that they locked you down.

:: Be sooooo good, that people acknowledge you in their manuscripts, send you gift certificates to Ayurvedic spas, and offer to buy you cars.

And once you’ve attracted your fanatical advocates, be sooooo good to them. Treat ‘em like VIPs. Roll out the red carpet, the purple throw rug, and the aquamarine duvet. Express your gratitude, frequently & fiercely. Send them presents. Make them feel like the act of promoting you to their audiences is a JOY, an HONOR, and a DELIGHT.

And if all else fails, threaten to take your pants off. Folks seem to respond to that.

 

Gems & Gurus

MARIE FORLEO is a marketing mastermind, with some raucous promotional tactics. She’s built a coaching business that attracts leading-edge, affluent, remarkable women from around the world.
Her Rich Happy & Hot event sucker-punched my approach to client attraction. If you’re not a Forleophile yet, get on it.

MICHELLE WARD rocks social media, cross-promotion, contests and scholarships like nobody’s business. Wait. Not nobody’s business. Her business. She also recorded her very own theme song. Double-dream-hands, all the way.

DAVE NAVARRO is all about mailing list expansion, product launches and shockingly rapid business growth. If you’re intrigued by digital products, online workshops and other forms of ‘passive income,’ scope out his services.

XO.
 

 

Read More business // acceleration

My Daily Rhythm: Or, Why I Hate Pants

 

They call me the Pantsless Wonder.

I loathe pants. If it weren’t for indecency laws, perverts and Minnesota snowstorms, I’d scurry about in my skivvies, 24/7.

Pants represent restriction. Confinement. Immobilization. Pants are like, The Man, man!

I won’t lie — one of the most compelling factors in my decision to go 100% freelance was the fact that my mandatory pants-wearing hours would be slashed by 85%.

Another compelling factor: the ability to design my ideal workday, with minimal external restrictions (aka, pants).

Lately, I’ve been gettin’ pretty conscious about my daily routine. My rituals. My habits. My patterns. My flow. My rhythm.

My current rhythm is not my ideal rhythm (though it’s pretty darn close). And it’s certainly not a do-or-die schedule. Some days, I oversleep. Some nights, I burn the 3 AM coconut oil. Sometimes, I play hooky. Some weeks, I overcommit. It happens. It’s human. And it (usually) comes out in the wash.

Finding a sustainable daily rhythm is about locking into the patterns that make you feel vibrant and vital — and then designing a lifestyle that supports those patterns.

The folks at Daily Routines have compiled a fascinating compendium of personal calendars. Benjamin Franklin’s day planner is a personal favorite.

I’m feeling exhibitionistic, and since we’re already talking about pantslessness, it seems only fitting to share my personal patterning — inner monologue, and all.

 

My Daily Rhythm

7-ISH AM :: Wake up to soothing ambient music, pumping from my Droid. Stretch. Grumble. Stop grumbling. Admire the early morning sunlight, filtering through my organza curtains. Nuzzle my beau. Slink downstairs to make French Press coffee.

8 AM :: Well howdy, universe! Caffeinated, showered, primped & pressed. Tank top. Booty-shorts. Moon boots. ’80s power ballads = streaming through my earbuds. Time to rock ‘em, sock ‘em. Right after I read 4,000+ Twitter updates . . .

9 AM :: Whoa, what just happened to my life? Ahem. Re-centering. Re-purposing. More coffee. Time to start cranking, f’realz. Switching from ballads to throbbing techno beats. Hello, Daft Punk . . .

NOON :: Hot diggity! Knocked my major assignments for the day outta the way. Feeling some heavy deadlines on the horizon, but nothing I can’t manage. Feeling like a champion. Time for a Sandwich Party! Om nom nominate Avocado for President!

2 PM-ISH :: Meh. I’m bored. And restless. Time for a change of scenery. Hmm. Will any of my friends meet me for chai lattes and good-natured gossip? Is there an open booth at my favorite coffee shop? Should I take a nap? Or a disco break?

3 PM-ISH :: My brain is wilting like week-old lettuce, so it’s time for menial tasks. Billing. Minor editing. Queueing up posts. Answering prospective client emails. Thinking about unicorns.

5 PM-ISH :: Did I just black-out? Am I drunk? How can it be 5 pm already? Still got a couple must-do items on my list. Shizznuts. Can I finish them by dinnertime? One last victory lap of hardcore copywriting . . .

7 PM :: Whoa nelly. My eyeballs are shuddering. I’ve got text messages piling up. Human beings (the kind that don’t live inside my laptop) want to see me. Close up shop for the night? Might as well. Right after I read 5,000+ Twitter updates . . .

7:30 PM :: Update deadline spreadsheet. Do a PayPal transfer. Check tomorrow’s assignment line-up. Exhale vigorously. Take a moment of ferocious gratitude. I just spent the better part of the day doing what I love — with no pants on.

8 PM :: Persuade an attractive person to cook dinner for me.

10 PM :: Censored.

MIDNIGHT :: Conk out. Goodnight, moon. Hello, dreamscape.

 

Et tu?

I’m fiercely curious about your daily rhythm. If you’re willing to share . . . well, golly, I might just put some pants on.

XO.
 

 

Read More creativity // inspiration